Friday, June 29, 2007

Happy boys and happy girls.. you think?

Sian diao. So many things I want to say, but I just can't say it. Cos so many people know about this stupid *&%#! blog.


Who was the asshole who discovered it in the first place??


If only, if only.. How different my blog would be now if only..


Friday, June 22, 2007

Pssht..

Damn. I think I've got the PMS. I keep having the mean-world syndrome. Not that the whole world out that is mean and evil kinda of mean-world syndrome. But that kind of everyone hates me, no one likes me outlook.

Keep thinking I'm forgotten, I'm hated, I'm disliked, I'm off, I'm out of frequency, I'm a loner, I'm weird..... SHUT UP!

Shit.

GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY.

Dammit dammit. Sucks! Be happy man.. Come on come on!

Where did my boing boing go..?






Boing boing where??

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Random random random

1. I can't believe it! I was so gullible to let my mother talk me into a tuition deal for $25 an hour, sec 4 A maths and she made it sound so good, and I thought it was good! Thanks a lot mum.
"I managed to get a high price for you."
"So expensive, of course you have to go to the house."

BULLSHIT!

It's not $30 an hour or FORGET IT!

I'll be an ass to go all the way to Simei (either from Clementi or Ang Mo Kio) for just $25 an hour and so many days a week.

2. My nose is bleeding again. My goodness, auntie, it was just like back in Anderson when I was drinking blood in my sleep. The next thing I know, I'll be growing fangs and shunning light. Again.

3. I think I rock. I think I did a damn superb job with Flubber during SECC. But being a councillor once is enough. Pulling off 24 hours of hyperactivity is no mean feat. Hats off to Charmaine. How could she tahan man..

4. Received an sms from Ernnie on 12 June. It's one year already! So amazing. And so many of the X-men are in the main comm, with me and Shaojie as councillors.

Happy belated one year anniversary X-men!!!

5. We found a PK2 in Flubber, although he is at a higher level than PK himself.

6. Everyone said I was meant for Flubber. Hm.. Boing boing for a seh name. Ha. I'll stick with Flubber.

7. Learnt lots of stuff as an SECC councillor for SWOC.. Such as, it's good to have 3 councillors for each group because one can be lost in time, one can be lost in space, and the last one can still be around to bounce on the spot. Boing boing.

So many codes here. I wonder other than me, how many others will understand what I'm saying.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Have I forgotten how to love?

Wow. Just had a cup of coffee with Linda. Now real high on caffeine. Haha. Might as well write something while I'm still high and er.. uninhibited.

It was quite a sudden revelation really, more like an insight, or it could be that the Lord or my angels spoke to me. Throughout the vacation so far, I've been so occupied and busy, doing one thing after the other, that suddenly, I've forgotten what it is like to love someone.

Not just passionate love, but love for my family, love for my friends.. I realised I've lost track of what it was like to love and show that love to these people. It could be that I was busy and pre-occupied with lots of stuff, but I'll think that those are only excuses to make myself feel better. Coginitive dissonace, ya' know.

The truth is, I am being loved and I've gotten so used to it that I've forgotten to show them how much I love them back as well. I won't say that I take them for granted. Ask me now, and I'll still say that I'm very grateful for the love they shower on me.

But the gratefulness was just kept within me and not expressed. I'd forgotten to..

Then I asked myself, why? Why did I forget? It's not like I love these people any less.. Reasoning and reasoning.. I sort of guessed that it was more like because I loved them because I should, and not because I would. It's more of like these are the things I should do and I did them, and less of coming truly from the heart.

Oh my. I must have hurt them so..

I guess that's what happens when dy/dx=0 (the curve levels off). I become non-expressive of my love for others, and indulge in only the happiness of my own. I become selfish, conceited, self-centred..

I don't know if this is the first time it has happened, but I am going to make sure it's the last time it happens.

Sunday. That's when everything will change. The moment I step out of church, I will be ready and all set to love the people who love me. I will not forget how much they mean to me and I will not forget to let them them know. I will not take things for granted and do things only because I should.

Father, that is the expectation I carry to church this Sunday, and I will leave the church with this expectation fulfilled. With your blessings, Father, with your blessings.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Applications OPEN!

That's it! I've had it with singlehood! I want a man and I want him right now!

Please apply if you are:

Male
Single (and confirm no other girl is madly in love with you. Love triangles are awfully tiring)
Within the range of 1.70 to 1.77 metres tall
Handsome, or at least pleasing to MY eye
Preferably with a car or loads of money to fetch me around in cabs.

It's not difficult to be my boyfriend really. You only need to:

Love me like a goddess.
Be decisive when the time comes and not be overly eager to please me.
Be independent, and not overly possessive. I'm ok with small bouts of jealousy.
I love surprises! So if you can come up with small, little surprises with little things you've made, it's more than enough to make my dayS.
And be able to cook! Last night my dad was not convinced that I could find a husband who will do the cooking for me. You better prove him wrong.
And accept the fact that I might be able to spend a lot of time with you when term starts,
and that I may get 8 months pregnant periodically
and also that the baby is called Leow Jia'en, because your surname might not go well with the name
and also that if you're my boyfriend, you'll naturally be the kid's dad even though we haven't had sex
and also that the kid will either be a boy or girl depending on my mood

Eh.. No more facts for now. It's not many anyway. Hahaha.

I declare all applications OPEN!!

Email me if you're interested. *BIG SMILE

Friday, May 11, 2007

MKT 1003 - Making Friends

I was just thinking about making and being friends the other day. And I remembered in MKT 1003, on way of classifying products is by how consumers purchase them. Two and two makes five. How people make and be friends can be classified as well.

Some people treat friends like convenience products. They take whichever comes first, stands out or is just convenient. Friendship to them, is just a matter of well, convenience. When it comes to giving, they only give when it is not out of their way. When their plans remain unchanged, when the effort required is not significant.

Some people treat friends like shopping products. They take time to choose and select friends, making sure they do not make a wrong choice. Friendship to them is a commitment. They are willing to give and go out of their way for a friend, but they still draw a line when to stop giving.

And some people treat friends like specialty products. They are not afraid of giving at all. Nothing is out of the way for them. Friendship to them is a treasure. No effort is considered too great to keep the treasure.

I thought back to how I used to treat friends. And I realised that, I've been through all three kinds of making and being a friend. Before I moved to Rosyth, I treated friends like convenience products. Then I realised how transient friendships could be and how I should treasure my friends in this unfamiliar environment.

After I moved to Rosyth, all the way till around sec 2, I treated friends like specialty products. Then I got hurt by my so-called best friends one by one, or lost contact with them as we parted ways. That was when I learnt to treat friends like shopping products. After all, my loyalty to them does not mean that they hold our friendship as dear as me.

Whoa.. thinking back now. I've got five true friends whom I hold as specialty products. They cherish our friendship as much as me. They are willing to give anything as much as I do (it's not my personal opinion). And honestly man, they'll take a bullet for me as I will for them.

Haha. I am rich.

How do you make friends? How much of a friend are you yourself? How many "specialty products" do you have as you think back now?

Will you be able to say you are rich too?

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

After-drama syndrome AGAIN

将计就计. Damn nice show!

http://ent.sina.com.cn/v/m/f/jjjj/index.html

I serious can't get enough of it.. 30 episodes still not enough.. Now I'm heavy daydreaming..

Too bad no part 2..

A feeling of emptiness sets down heavy on my mind..

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Back to Shanghai Bund

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I said I didn't want it to happen. Yet in the back of my mind, I wish it'll happen. Haiz. Women. We are complicated

*****************************************

Looking at her painfully shaven legs, the girl smiled at what she could do for love. Yeah right. For infatuation.

She opened her wardrobe and chose a sundress with accompanying shoes, went to the kitchen, picked a basket and filled it with fruits, then randomly chose a ribbon and tied it on the handle of the basket.

Basking in her imaginary bliss, the girl jumped into her bed and went to sleep smiling.

The next morning, after breakfast and dressing up, she picked the fruit basket off the dining table and headed for the doctor's house.

Unusually cheerful, she inevitable caught the attention of everyone on the streets of her smelly toufu territory. But her head was too high in the clouds for her to notice.

Round the corner, she could hardly contain her joy as she raced up the stairs to the doctor's flat. Heart thumping (as usual), she pressed the doorbell.

The doctor, still in his sleeping robe, opened the door.

"Good morning! Do you remember me? I came to thank you for saving my life..." she gushed.

From the background, a sleepy voice spoke out.

"Who's at the door so early in the morning darling?"

The girl's heart skipped a beat, and she nearly fainted when she saw the owner of the voice behind the doctor.

"You are gay?!" She blurted.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

One year in Sheares Hall

Studying for my psych stats module (basically all FM), I somehow started thinking about hall life. From where I came from to where I am now.



Hahaha. Things do get quite hilarious at times. How I initially got rejected, ended up on the waiting list, and hence ended up in block comm. Then there was the time when I incredulously heard that I was going to run for JCRC.

Whoa this one I want to say. My friend approached me and said, "Ay, heard you are running for JCRC." And I was like "I am?" It was one of those so-incredible-that-it's-funny kinda thing. And then I posted an entry on running for the VP post so that I could combine all five rooftops and get the block aunty to clean our rooms every weekend. But after smelling her mop, hehe, I change my mind.

And then I got into SWOC. Haha. I remember Ben Kee telling me "You shot yourself in the foot la" after the SWOC elections. Heh. Ben Kee, if you're so good, go out there and try it yourself la. Just be careful not to shoot yourself in the head. Bang! (phtt)

But hm.. How do you explain that originally you wanted to join something with your friends, then because of certain reasons, you are unable to, so you join another thing to make new friends? How do you explain that while still making sense? Hm.. My sense of sense and Lydia's sense of sense must be different.

Hm.. come to think of it. I'm very lucky that I got to join what I loved here in hall. I love photography. I got to join BOTH photog and hall pub. (I'm the photographer for hall pub). I was in council in secondary school and I pretty enjoyed it. I got to join the hall version of it through block comm and SWOC. I like to sprint in short distances and be really nimble. I got to join netball.

After this year, what next?



Haha. In case another round of it comes again, just for the record, I still have no intention of joining JCRC. My initial plan to expand Block A into KR needs a lot of funds, which I realised should be locked in one of those hall sinking funds that was used to sink Block B (which I figured is why Block B only has 7 storeys).

Or maybe I should try for Director of Finance so that I can create a hall fattening fund that can be used to fatten Block A so that we can expand into KR's carpark.

Wahahaha. I'm so full of nonsense. Which should be different from Lydia's havesense. But that makes sense, since nonsense should never be the same from havesense even if it's from the same people. OK SHUT UP LEHIA!

Bye!


Friday, April 27, 2007

Later that night, alone in the house, the girl began to plan her visit to the doctor's house. How would she go? At what time would he be home? What will she say when he opens the door? What will she wear?

She got up and walked over to her wardrobe. Should she wear a skirt? Long or short skirt? Light or dark colours? Haiyo! So troublesome.

She sat down, still indecisive, and hugged her knees. Hmm.. What should I wear? Amongst her thoughts, she began to realise.. Hey.. My leg hair is getting longer..

She searched around for the shaving cream and blade the girls shared, but couldn't find any. At the corner of her eye, a roll of double-sided tape caught her eye.

Picking up the circular object, she said aloud, "Should I..?"

In the stillness of the night, a shrill cry echoed throughout the streets.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Shanghai Bund still continuing

Days passed in the hospital with no sign of the police (thank goodness!) and the girl's wounds seemed to be healing too fast for her. Day after day, she looked forward to the doctor coming round to do his rounds, and could not help looking admiringly as he took care of the other patients.

Tried as she might, she could not stop her heart from beating too quickly and he was always puzzled how a person could have some abnormal heartbeat without having high blood pressure.

All good things must come to an end. The day of discharge finally came for the girl.

Standing at the checkout counter, with the nurse preparing her medication behind, she wondered how she could prolong her time with the doctor. Feign illness? Can't. Her cheeks are pink already. Suddenly faint? That's too risky. She won't be able to stop laughing.

How?? Suddenly, a lightbulb lighted above her. "Do doctors deliver medication?"

And her smile spread over her face as she paid her bill and conveniently left her painkillers and antibiotics behind.

*******************

Back at her flat, fishing around in her bag for her keys, she wondered what sort of rampage she would discover behind the door. Did the other triads took chance of the empty flat to steal some gold? Did petty thieves found themselves lucky? Did.. "Oh what the heck. Just open the door woman."

Whoosh! The door flew open. A HUGE sigh of relief as she saw the flat as how she left it. Stepping into her room, she flung her bag onto the floor and sat on her bed. Memories of the pre-hospital stay slowly crept back.

She was abruptly shaken from her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. "Is anyone in?? I'm here to deliver medicine!" SMILE! Is the doctor here???

She excitedly rushed to the door and threw it open (to a very surprised kid), only to be disappointed with the person standing at the door.

"Yes?"

"You forgot your medicine. I'm here to deliver it. Remember to follow the instructions on the packet and take your medicine regularly."

"Oh ok.. How come it's you? I thought it would be the doctor.."

"Oh the doctor that took care of you? He's busy. He sent me to deliver it to you."

(laughing really heard internally) "Er.. Is there anyway I can contact him? I er.. want to thank him."

"You can always find him at the hospital."

"Wouldn't he be busy?"

"Oh right. Or you can find him at his home. He lives just round the corner. He always welcomes people into his house."

"His home?? All the better!!!"

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Shanghai Bund continues

******************************************
So funny. Whenever something big about me happens, no one dares to ask me about it. Ne'er mind. I'm enjoying it anyway.

I'm a multi-fac woman! I teach engine students math, quantum physics and relativity, help business students with their business modules and arts students with their arts modules!

******************************************

Left alone in the flat, the girl lies on her bed with the note in her hand. With a huge sigh, she crumbles up the note and sits up on the bed. The wounds from the previous day felt raw and her head began to spun.

She soon realised she was beginning to run dangerously low on blood sugar, and decided to drop downstairs (hopefully not by gravity) to get some food. Cooking was out of the question in the current state. And she never liked to crack eggs anyway.

Stumbling down the staircase proved easy enough, and the girl soon found herself out in the glaring sun. The bustle of street noise, the pungent smells emitting from the drains, the sun in her eyes, the bustle of street noise..


When her eyes finally flickered open, a strong smell of iodide gushed through her lungs. Clean sheets, white gown, a blanket and two dozen other women lying around her.

The first thoughts she had: "Oh shit. I am in the hospital."

Her second to some number impossible to count:

"Now I just need the police to come round and demand the reason I was nicely knocked out on the streets, and ask my identity and I'll have to tell them I'm a triad leader owning the three streets that sell smelly toufu and they'll ask who did it to me before whisking me off to the police station and someone will have to come and point a gun at the guard to get me out only to see the other two chiefs pointing their guns at my head for bao-tohing them."

"Whoa sian."

"What's so sian about life that made you say that?"

The girl spun around to see the man of the gentle voice only to feel her brain slowly rotate with great inertia thereafter. She still wasn't used to quick movements yet.

What she finally registered was a fine, handsome young man in a doctor's robe and a stethoscope stylishly slung over his neck.

"Boy am I glad he's not a gynae."

...

p.s. Story continues when I get more inspiration. Heh. Wanted to make it dramatic like the previous entry, but just couldn't resist being me. Ha!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Old Shanghai Bund

Back in old Shanghai, where the triads ruled, and the police had little power, there was a group of girls who controlled a territory. Each of them, a small little area. And they all lived together in a flat.

For one of the friends, she took her old, rusty gun to meet two triad chiefs she supposedly had good relations with for a negotiation. There wasn't much talking before the first shot was fired. It was from one of the chiefs. She got hurt. As the gunfight ensued, she tried her best to defend herself as the chiefs rained bullets on her.

Badly wounded and bleeding profusely, she stumbled and fell as she made her way back. She was finally in the safety of their flat, barely conscious and still bleeding.

Her friend took one look at her and said, "Har.. So much blood.. Aiya, forget it la." And she left the room, leaving the girl to die.

Thoughts just filled her mind. At the brink of death, her friend whom she had gone to fight for had left her to die after learning that the fight was not successful. She felt angry. And she prayed. Her anger turned to upset. Then the girl finally realised that it was she herself who was naive. She should have known better.

The next morning, she found a note on her door from her friend.

It read:

Sorry I couldn't talk to you face to face. I wanted to, but I'll miss my train back home. Sorry I left you to die last night. It might sound like I'm giving myself excuses but there wasn't enough cotton wool and bandages and medicine. And our medical equipment back home aren't good enough. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. The territorial dispute is such a small thing anyway. I care for our friendship. That's all I have to say. Take care and get well soon!

The girl could not help but laugh after reading the note. "I care for our friendship." That sure was funny.

Writing in her diary a few days later, she wondered what reactions her friend would have if she read the diary. "Aiya, what you want me to do??", "Haiya. Don't know la!". She smiled again at how typical those reactions were of her friend.

As she recounted the whole story, she ended the entry with the line.

"I should have known better."

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Haiz. I should have known better la. So amazed at how stupid I can be. Hahaha. 自讨苦吃. The mistake is all mine.

Must I go through this every reading week just to maintain my cap?

I sure hope not..


Friday, April 13, 2007

I WANT MY MCNUGGETS!

How hard is it for a pregnant woman to settle her craving?? DAMN HARD!


I had a HUGE craving for McNuggets during my PL2131 lecture yesterday. I wanted to eat nuggets and I wanted it right THEN.

But I thought it could be because I was hungry and my mouth had no taste so that's why I wanted something to chew on.

Never mind. After lecture, I got a lift from Charlene back to hall and went straight for dinner after changing. Stomach filled, went back to my room, and thought my craving was gone.

But NO, it stuck around, and intensified when Tan Ming Hui



Tan Ming Hui
asked me if I wanted to have supper. OF COURSE I WANT LA!! And I wanted McNuggets!! But NO, she didn't want to walk all the way to west coast with the huge buanged leg. And SO, we went to Uncle Vincent's to get her dinner.

Later Joy came up with a brilliant idea of asking the people in the lounge who were having supper if they wanted to have McDonald's. And what were they having for supper?? WHOLE CHICKEN! Of course they don't want McDonald's la!! Very brilliant idea..

I even messaged the SWOC, papaya, watermelon and Nuria. Hua wu que was the best. "I'm going to sleep already, it's either Uncle Vincent's or nothing."

!!!

Can you just indulge the pregnant woman for once????!!!!


And so, at 1 am in the morning, I SUPER buay tahan already.

I MUST HAVE MY MCNUGGETS NOW!!

And I set out for West Coast on my own. But no back bone.. I walked out about 20m past the bus stop, I made a U-turn and trudged back. The entire street was deserted, littered only with taxis who were irritatingly slowing down when they drove near me.

And it was quite lucky that I made a U-turn, cos on my way back.. There was a police car. The policemen inside did slow down and look at me.. I just quickly scurried back.

SO I STILL HAVEN'T GOT MY MCNUGGETS!!

Bleah.


Even Aunty also don't let me have my McNuggets..

Friday, April 06, 2007

The BIG 2!!

Bleah. I'm not bothering to blog within 3 minutes so that the entry will show 6 April 2007. Haha. TWO MINUTES left!! Never mind. 7 April also can.

This is one of the most special birthdays I've ever had. Last night, my dad was like telling my mother "my friend is coming later". But they did not come. Until midnight, they still didn't show up. All the while, I was sitting in my room in front of my darling laptop doing work.

And THEN, suddenly "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.." I turned around, and to my surprise, SWOC WALKED THROUGH MY ROOM DOOR! except for Britney, cos he couldn't make it (duh).

I was so shocked la. I totally forgot to clap for my song until the last line. Hahaha.

I really didn't even dream that they'll come right into my house so that they can celebrate my birthday for me ON my birthday.. I thought they would celebrate it on Monday, when we have meeting la. I was just about to tell Ming Hui that I don't want to sing birthday song in the JCRC room.
And they gave me a total of THREE BIG presents!
1. The HUGE surprise when they walked right into my room at 12
midnight.

2. The $50 M1 gift voucher for my Nokia N73 Music Edition (fund).

3. And they helped my family take a 全家福 after... 15 years!

SWOC 07/08 rocks!


[pictures will be uploaded once I receive them]

SWOC 07/08!


And we went for a Korean dinner just now!! SUUUUUPER NICE! And the service was daaaamn good la. Very sensitive to what you need, very alert, and very professional!


We didn't order much. At least for me and my brother, cos I wasn't paying attention to what my mother was ordering. We ordered one Bibimbap, since it was so highly recommended, one bulgogi, and one pork belly (both for the bbq), mushrooms as a side for the bbq as well, then my mother added in a Korean pancake, but we didn't finish that one cos it was too big and we were too full, one seafood soup, and one Saba fish. Haha. Now suddenly it sounds like a lot.

BUT we totally didn't expect it when the waiter came with a GIGANTIC tray and filled our table with plates. TOTALLY no place for anything else. Haha. Reminded me of what I always said about Korean food. Out of 10 dishes, 8 dishes are the kimchi-like food. Those were just the dishes we didn't order.

Dessert comes unordered too! (There was a cinnamon ginseng drink as well)

Can you see the juice from the mushroom??

Now it suddenly dawned on me why their menu is so small..


Oh. And the towels! They came like that..

I thought they were mints. And I was just about to pop them into my mouth when my dad asked the waitress what those were. And she said.. "Towels."

!!!!

TOWELS?? I was just about to eat them man!

And then she added, "Just add water."

And so we did. SUUUUPER amazing la. The whole thing just expanded before our eyes.. We were so intrigued, we nearly stole our neighbour's towels.. Until my dad asked the waiter if he could give us two more..

Hahaha. Science experiement at home!








So cool right????!!!!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Why arh?

I don't understand some people.. Why must they always complain about all things possible? Why must they insist on not being happy? What's wrong with things now?

Project mates are lousy. Some people can't even find a group.. It was hell week for you. What about other people? Why do you complain? Those other people aren't. Actually.. It's not that you can't complain. But why don't you want to take it positively after speaking it out?

Slept at 6 in the morning. For one night. What about those who cannot sleep more than 4 hours no matter how they would like to? Too many hall activities, no time for school work. Unless you're Karen (Ang) arh, I think no one should ever complain about that.

Not enough money. What about those who can't go to school cos they have no money? Not feeling well. What about those who are never 100% healthy anyway? Angry with your friends. What about those with no friends?

It's never a full stop after "I've got a lot of things to do." It's always "I've got a lot of things to do, but I will pull it through."

What is wrong with things now? Life is about happiness and love. Why do you want to push it away? Is it because you like being angry? Why do you like being angry? And when you complain, are you asking others to be angry with you? Why do you want others to be angry with you? What is wrong with things now?

There is nothing wrong with having all these feelings. But must you really complain? Must you always complain when you speak? I complain too.. But after I complain that's it. I'll go back, and whatever I complained about, I still enjoy it in the end.
"So busy with SWOC!!" But hey, I'm still in love with SWOC. "Got block comm meeting later.. So tired.." But I stil maintain that Block C block comm is the best around. It's still not a sai kang comm. And it won't be. "Have to edit my photos.. Cannot sleep.. :(" But when it's done, it's done. I don't talk about how late I slept cos I had to edit my photos. Unless someone asked what I was doing so late last night sorta thing.
Life is more than you and your problems. Why don't you want to look positively at what you have with you?
I know people who have absolutely no free time. I did two little photoshopped projects for SWOC, and I dare say that I did it in my free (lazing around/procrastinating) time. The moment I said that, immediately I got the reply that "at least you have free time.." And there are people who can legitimately say that. But they don't complain incessantly.
God gives us fears and worries so that we will grow and learn the value of peace and joy. Why don't people want to see the silver lining, but insist of being occupied with the dark clouds only? What is wrong with things now?

Monday, March 26, 2007

Eh? No problem. Just telling you that when you read my blog, look but not see. Once you click away from my blog, forget everything you've read.

So don't need to discuss what you've read on my blog outside the blog yeah. I've got a tagboard for you. Just type type type and press enter.

Then forget about it after you click away!

Ok, Ben Kee??

See you in hall too!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Please read the warning sign ya?

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What the fuck! CRAMPS!!

**************************************************

This is a GENTLE reminder to all my blog readers out there. Don't need to hide. You're so obviously there.

WHAT'S SAID ON MY BLOG STAYS ON MY BLOG.

You hear me??

E-llo, Ben Kee, I'm talking to you. :)


Monday, March 19, 2007

No thank you

Ming Hui sent me a message earlier in the morning. She asked me to ask Joyce to bring her clothes to hall, to just say that we are considering whether or not to go to dnd.

I found that the hardest message to send so far.

Today I withdrew $50. (When I told Ming Hui, her first reaction was "Then go for DND la." Silly. That's not my point.) $20 went for transport, $13.80 went for the lunch at NYDC with SWOC for Haojie's birthday.

I had arleady pretty much decided to not go for DND already. But still, before receiving that message, I was still ready for last minute changes.

When that message came, I felt a total mix of sadness, envy (I don't know), disheartened, down. They had clothes at home to go for DND.

They only have to pay $50 for DND..

They can just bring their clothes to hall.

I can't.

In sec 4, prom was a compuslsory thing. My mother was so excited for me. She spent $200++ on my gown, my shoes, and even handbag. I never wore them out again. I feel it such a waste for her.. And she never got back that $200++ from my dad.

I hated taking photos them. I went there, and came back without a single photo taken. They had a disco floor which I hated, and I really didn't enjoy myself. That was the worst $200++ I've ever spent.

But that's in the past. Now it's DND.

I know, am I am very clear that I only need to open my door now and say "Let's go for DND!" And a whole handful of my level girls will go immediately. But that will be the only purpose of me going.

I don't have clothes for DND.

I can't just bring it from home.

And I won't have fun there.

I'm so sorry Ming Hui.. That message from you really just totally took away my interest in going. Nothing to be shocked about.

I know that if I want to go, my mother will gladly give me the money to. But she'll never get it back. My dad won't give her. Then what will she have left for herself?

Joy exclaimed "What kind of family is this?!" when she heard that my mother cannot talk to my dad to increase my pocket money. Joy, I am offended. Please take it back. There are too many things you don't know to make that remark.

JC prom we had a choice. IT didn't take me three seconds to decide not to go.

Don't ask anymore.