What is my worth?

I just received another disappointing result today. I fear.

Modules now are focused on projects, essay assignments and individual work. I can't seem to score the 90-odd percent so common in the past.

I am very afraid. Beyond MCQs, mathematics and simple short answers, am I really nothing more?

Am I letting my true worth be decided by a few grades that will last only my first job?

I know what atrocities I can do when I don't put in any effort. But I am beginning to wonder what can I do when I do put in effort.

Something is misdirected somewhere. Father, what is it?

The man in the green room

I remember when I was in upper secondary or junior college, I would notice this person sitting at his table in a room painted apple pastel green in the block opposite mine. I would be able to see him from my living room, and he would still be at the table around 1 plus.

Two years in hall and I forgot about him. Instead, I noticed if my neighbours were sleeping, and if the horns at the port were blaring tonight.

Two years later I'm back at home, working late into the night, procrastinating as usual. (I'm seriously a night person la. I should just stop pretending.)

He still sits at the table. Sometimes his kids or wife would come in and talk to him for a while. But he remains at the table. I always wonder what he is doing, or not doing.

Like me tonight, whoever has been noticing this long-haired girl at her table in her peach-coloured room. I am blogging, not writing my &$#@! essay.

ANTS

Deep in the ghettos of District 3, a small wet market slowly comes to life. Fishmongers displaying their fish and butchers preparing the meat for the day.

A stock man saunters towards a junction of stores. Store owners looked up from their chores as the man came to a stop at the centre.

In a powerful voice he pointed at each of them and commanded "ANTS!"

Heads quickly bowed and fast fingers worked in acknowledgement.

In two minutes, every person was holding out a small bag of their wares for the burly man.

Familiar glances and knowing smiles passed through their faces as he went around collecting the bags.

Community.

74 bus uncle went on strike

Uncle, WHY??

Three seconds of my life

Need to diet before CNY.

Ooh bak kwa!

Shit.

Confessions of a perfectionist

I have a confession to make. I am a perfectionist, and I have a perfect ideal of myself which, I am obviously not there yet.

I want to be a talented musician, excellent singer, agile sportsperson, versatile dancer, knowledgeable student.

I want to be smart, pretty, flexible, adept at interpersonal relations. I want to be able to learn things with a snap of the finger, have a performer's intuition, entertain others, able to accept criticisms and work on it.

I want to be really flexible, to be able to do splits, to reach high notes effortlessly, to have pitch-perfect singing, to have such nimble fingers, to have dimples, bigger boobs and perfect fair skin.

I used to blame my genetics and upbringing for not being to reach any of those. After all, it's better to have a reason then to admit I'm not able to do it.

Then one day, I suddenly saw it another way.

If I was so far from perfect by birth, how much have I been given to be able to dream these dreams today.

I am definitely not a born talent, but I dare to dream, and I dare to work for it.

So I will be.

Considerate Smokers Association Annual Gala Dinner 2010

Good evening.

Welcome to the inaugural first annual Considerate Smokers Association Annual Gala Dinner.

We have come a long way since smoking became a social activity. We have battled lung cancer activists, concerned governments, and irritating children. Smokers have also shifted mentalities from asserting their free choice rights to creating a positive impact with their necessary time-out habits.

We at the Considerate Smokers' Association are the embodiment of such positive attitude.

In the following five hours, I will outline and explain in detail, with theories from the fields of psychology, philosophy, sociology and biology, 8495 ways of smoking considerately.

The first and foremost and easiest and simplest way is to smoke downwind when you smoke at a bus stop. Let the wind carry your cigarette smoke above and away from the heads of the maddening crowd into the skies of liberation.

Next, tilt your head and exhale upwards. Let the cigarette smoke represent your dreams. Release it towards realisation with each well-drawn puff.

Third, douse your cigarette butt with water before leaving. Give it a meaningful end and let everything begin anew after that.

The world is a beautiful place with people like us the Considerate Smokers Association around. I'll continue this momentous speech with my theories and explanations after we finish the first clause.

I am your non-smoking chairperson.

Please enjoy your meal.

Tired day

My eyelids are heavy, my shoulders are aching, I am dragging my feet, my speech is slurred, I have been spouting nonsense in class the entire day and I come home to a nice warm dinner.

It's days like this I am glad I am staying at home.

I miss hall

Shortly after I came back, I dug out the old contact lists compiled from when I was still in hall.

As I started keying in entry after entry, memories of that person ran through my head.

Oh, that's my funny neighbour who couldn't wake up in the morning, and that's another neighbour who couldn't wake up at all, and that's another neighbour who was always telling me to sleep.

I remember him torturing the cockroach, and how he kept trying to chase that girl. How they would always give a listening ear, and share goodies with everyone when they had any.

What a wonderful senior, what a sweet junior.

Hrmph. I miss hall.

New phone settings should be customised by retailers

I lost my phonebook! All 390 contacts of them. Except for SWOC's I don't know why.

Stupid sync contacts stupid delete from phone stoopid ACCEPT!!

New phones should entirely be set and synchronised by retailers.

If every contact was a momento left behind, i have lost an entire cupboard of souvenirs. Especially some like my beloved JC teachers I can never get their names back into my phone book. ARGH!!!!!!