Ladies and Gentlemen,
Snoring in D Minor
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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Anger
The seven deadly sins have been expounded several times to teach man what is and what not. I have recently been hounded by the sin called anger.
I am absolutely seething. My hands and fingers are shaking and I cannot think straight. Why? Because my brother did not consult me before his friend used my piano. I yearn to swipe my hand throughout the span of his face and tell him straight that he better show others some respect. But I know that no matter how much I hit him, I will not be any less angry.
It is not because of the slap he gave me. It is because of his attitude. I don't know what allows me to judge or gives me the power to put him back into his place. I was just as rude and arrogant at his age. But something in me just will not tolerate him.
He has run me down a dozen times, and each time deposited a load of resentment till the scale tipped. I know it is just a phase and he'll grow out of it, but the anger that builds up I can't explain. Each time he runs me down with his arrogant despising ways, or judge others on their race, I always have an urge to lurge forward and punch him in the face.
He knows absolutely nothing and think he owns the world. Knows naught of humility and expect others to accord him respect. I HATE IT!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
THE break
Mid-sem break is here!
The long-awaited, greatly anticipated, highly demanded BREAK is. finally. here. Exactly one semester ago, on this day, I landed in Korea at -7 degrees. Excited Singaporeans furiously blowing the air to see mist leave our mouths.
If only uni life was a string of exchanges. Then every semester would beckon excitement, a new way of life and a new whiff of freedom. No worries about grades, and no stress about project mates. We still learn stuff, but don't get the stress.
This semester, my break is filled up to the brim, but I don't feel as busy as I did two semesters ago. Maybe because I'm used to it, or maybe because I don't expect a week-long vacation. But I'm excited still, yes. Any reprieve from lessons is a relieve.
I'm seriously considering a blackberry. Projects are getting more intense, and the three hours spent travelling is seriously zapping up precious time. Plus the times when I'm in class and unable to respond to urgent mails. 8 hour intervals can really send group mates panicking. What. should. I. do?
The long-awaited, greatly anticipated, highly demanded BREAK is. finally. here. Exactly one semester ago, on this day, I landed in Korea at -7 degrees. Excited Singaporeans furiously blowing the air to see mist leave our mouths.
If only uni life was a string of exchanges. Then every semester would beckon excitement, a new way of life and a new whiff of freedom. No worries about grades, and no stress about project mates. We still learn stuff, but don't get the stress.
This semester, my break is filled up to the brim, but I don't feel as busy as I did two semesters ago. Maybe because I'm used to it, or maybe because I don't expect a week-long vacation. But I'm excited still, yes. Any reprieve from lessons is a relieve.
I'm seriously considering a blackberry. Projects are getting more intense, and the three hours spent travelling is seriously zapping up precious time. Plus the times when I'm in class and unable to respond to urgent mails. 8 hour intervals can really send group mates panicking. What. should. I. do?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
A slap on the face
My brother gave me a slap today. But I wasn't sad. I only thought of how to return the slap to him. I didn't cry. He had me pinned to the ground. I didn't feel weak.
Until my dad came in and broke us up. When my brother challenged Papa to beat him, my dad just looked up at him and said "Is this the only way to correct an errant son?"
Tears rolled down my eyes.
I felt sad for my dad, I cried, still am and I felt helpless.
Earlier today we talked about his greying head and we joked about it. My father is growing old and he has a son who takes the family for granted, and a daughter who is still stuck in uni for another year and a half who still doesn't have a driving license who still hasn't got a job.
Dad felt disappointed with himself for not being able to take care of Kong Kong, he didn't tell us of Kong Kong's condition when it first got worse, he never asked if we wanted to go visit him and I know that day when I went with him to the hospital, Papa was swallowing his tears behind the mask.
Yet he has a son who said he would rather not go to the hospital at all.
At the funeral, my brother did a good job of being around and helping out. But when his friends came, he scooted off with them without whispering a word.
One of the nights he went back early to study for his test. He got money from my mother to take a cab home. At 8 pm.
He joins the family when there's a special dinner, then dumps his bag on my mother who doesn't want to carry it to go join his friends for the rest of the night. He makes the whole family go out of the way so that he can look at something only he is interested in. It is as though the family is only useful to him insofar there is food and shelter.
If we were a poor family, would he even want to acknowledge his surname is Leow?
Until my dad came in and broke us up. When my brother challenged Papa to beat him, my dad just looked up at him and said "Is this the only way to correct an errant son?"
Tears rolled down my eyes.
I felt sad for my dad, I cried, still am and I felt helpless.
Earlier today we talked about his greying head and we joked about it. My father is growing old and he has a son who takes the family for granted, and a daughter who is still stuck in uni for another year and a half who still doesn't have a driving license who still hasn't got a job.
Dad felt disappointed with himself for not being able to take care of Kong Kong, he didn't tell us of Kong Kong's condition when it first got worse, he never asked if we wanted to go visit him and I know that day when I went with him to the hospital, Papa was swallowing his tears behind the mask.
Yet he has a son who said he would rather not go to the hospital at all.
At the funeral, my brother did a good job of being around and helping out. But when his friends came, he scooted off with them without whispering a word.
One of the nights he went back early to study for his test. He got money from my mother to take a cab home. At 8 pm.
He joins the family when there's a special dinner, then dumps his bag on my mother who doesn't want to carry it to go join his friends for the rest of the night. He makes the whole family go out of the way so that he can look at something only he is interested in. It is as though the family is only useful to him insofar there is food and shelter.
If we were a poor family, would he even want to acknowledge his surname is Leow?
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