To Eggy

Dear Eggy,

We finally had a party at your house again this year. Didn't see you, and wondered where you were. Wanted to say hi, and tell you we are all good.

Li Hao just came back from exchange in the Netherlands. Had a lot of fun, made a lot of friends, went to many places, met a lot of girls, brought none of them back. And he actually took touristy photos in beautiful Europe!

Li Yao (and me actually) got promoted. Dear cousin now is a maaaanager! Managing a team of one, himself. And mine is still the same position.

Li Yan is, quiet as always. Shy, reserved, and takes her cue from Auntie Jenny.

Uncle David looks more and more like my dad by the day. He sat down at our table the other night, and out of the corner of my eye, I thought my dad joined us at the kid's table.

Uncle Roger and Auntie Doreen are still filling up our cups. Sans your brothers of course. They even waited for your mother to leave before opening the bottles.

Mama, is old. We can't hear her speak, she can't hear us talk. She's down to soft and wet foods, and she mostly sleeps after eating. She doesn't walk anymore. Li Hao said that's about it, we're just waiting. But I'd rather just wait, and wait. It is still always an assurance when Mama holds my hand, whether or not she knows it. I don't want to go back to where we sent you off.

How's Kong Kong? Young, strong and more handsome than he was? How are you? Enjoying the tallest mountains and most delicious food?

I won't pretend you're still around. But I know you are here with each and every one of us. I miss you, as we all do. Your laughter still resounds so clearly in my head. I saw a girl on the train the other day. She looked like you when you were young, but she's pretty much an adult. Round face and doe eyes. Though I have no idea to whose benefit this is haha. I have no idea how I'll react if one day I see a little boy who looks like the drawn portrait of you.

The wait is a lot longer for us than for you.
So do me a favour.
Prepare me a feast for when we meet again.
Welcome me with open arms and your trademark laughter.
Let me hear stories and tell me jokes.
Bring me places and show me what's fun.
Then, introduce me to the others, one by one.

Eggy, we are all well. How are you?

我，还在逃。

我以为，我没再逃了。梦，停了。不再出现了。我以为，我不跑了。长大了。

没。梦，变了。我还在跑，还在逃。只是场景变了。

我，长大了。

小时候的逃，是在家楼下。花园后的网球场是被追上的地方。就在那里开始躲。一面一面的墙壁迅速地在我眼前闪烁过。左边、右边。边跑，边躲。

现在的逃，是托着行李箱匆匆忙忙的离开。很混乱，很笨拙。能掉的掉，能坏的坏。很狼狈。终于能逃脱的地方，就是现在被追上的地方。一场大龙凤的当中，我就会惊醒。

我，还在逃。