What Noose

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Why are we the East when the world is round?

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Please read in the semi-British accent CNA uses

The Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) launched an attack on the government's post office early this morning. The siege lasted three hours with the FARC escaping in a truck they exchanged for the life of the post office supervisor.

The FARC had also taken with them 1000 pesoes of stamps, and 2 pesoes of change left on the counter before driving off into Venezuelan soil. The reasons for seizing the stamps were not known, but speculations have been rife that the soldiers were homesick and needed stamps for their letters home. Years of fighting have also left them penniless to purchase stamps.

On receiving the news, President Uribe commented "What the FARC."

Chronicles of a nose bleed

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Hey qw, I'm going off on exchange next sem haha. And thanks for your congratulations. By the way, how did you know? You and CK said the same thing to me, but I only found out myself about a week ago. And it's only the Business Dean's List, not FASS. Oh, the irony..

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I had a massive nose bleed last night in my sleep. Must have broke some big blood vessel or something.

So in my half-conscious state, I grabbed a tissue and plugged my nostril (only one side bleeds, for some reason). But the bleeding wouldn't stop.

I would lie in one position, sipping the little bit of blood running down the back of my throat and breathing through the other nostril, then find myself swallowing huge clots when i turn my head. This usually doesn't happen.

So this went on for a while, and I think I swallowed about three or four gulps of blood before I decided to wake up and stop the bleeding before I turn into a vampire.

At the toilet, I unplugged the tissue holding up the blood and dropped it into the toilet bowl. A glob of semi-congealed blood fell into the sink the same time the tissue splashed into the toilet bowl.

I rested my head on the tap and let the blood drip with my eyes tightly shut. The blood dripped down quite rapidly though. Itchy. When I opened my eyes, whoa gross. My house would have red sinks in the future. But it wasn't that bad as I thought it would be. In the dark, it just looked like dark brown splats of ink.

The blood soon stopped dripping, and I washed my nose with surprisingly no trickle of red following the water. Thought to myself, "That's fast."

So now, I have survived a bleeding nose with no blood clots to show, some rusty intestines and bloody shit.

Oh.. My aching abdomen..

Passionate patriotism

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Every girl's dream! I'm going to Hong Kong to buy winter clothes, and Korea to get summer clothes! Wahahahaha.

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We were cooking at the apartment where I am currently learning Korean earlier today when one of the Korean girls asked a student from China "Taiwanese speak Chinese as well, right?"

The Chinese girl immediately said "Taiwan is part of China."

Korean girl: "Oh? But they don't say they are Chinese, right?"

Chinese girl: "Taiwan is part of China."

Korean girl: "They speak Chinese too?"

Chinese girl: "Taiwan is part of China."

I wonder if there was a bunch of people who wanted to break away from Singapore, would we be as anal passionate about it.

Some non-Singaporean: "Pulau Ubin-eans speak Singlish too, right?"

Me: "Pulau Ubin is part of Singapore."

Non-Singaporean: "But they don't call themselves Singaporeans?"

Me: "Pulau Ubin is part of Singapore."

Non-Singaporean: "They speak Singlish too?"

Me: "Pulau Ubin is part of Singapore."

Haha. What shit.