怎么办。我脑海里看到的，是在雨中的奔跑。
Running. Running. Tears warm my face comfortingly. The rhythm of my footsteps assuring. It is a release fuelled by heartache. I can't see where I'm going, or have any direction in mind. Scenes flash through my head, but I have no idea where I am. I wear a dress, soaked fabric cling to my legs. My exposed arms shivering, I can feel the wrinkles in my toes.
世界依然的巡转，城市依然的流动。雨中，车子来来往往，街上无人横行。
唯有我；跑着，跑着。没人看，没人理。
舒。
Monday, December 29, 2014
Saturday, December 06, 2014
In this society, there is only one right answer. And that is "Yes"
I've always grappled with the concept of saying "No". It was so simple, yet so complicated. It is such an easy answer to give, then such a difficult answer to accept. Later on, I would learn it to be a difficult reply too.
I loathe dressing up and going for whatever. It used to be because I did not have the appropriate clothes for the occasion. Then it was because of the awkwardness in that artificial skin we donned for the event. Now, even as I learn to be an actor, I still find myself uneasy breathing in a mood deliberately hung up by someone else. (Yes, it wouldn't be that bad if I could tune the air myself.)
A friend once told me, "If you do not have a valid reason, you'll have to go". Indeed. It was either "Yes", or "Yes, but", never a simple, straightforward, easy "No".
I always thought people were weird in asking why not. Then I realised even they don't know what they are asking. They've fallen into the norm, and can't see the others outside of it.
And of course there are those who know when they ask why not. Though their ability to weave around the norm would have already accepted my easy "No".
Fortunately or unfortunately for me, this is the way society will remain. The norm is too entrenched, and it is tough for a fabric to be weaved if weaknesses are to be just allowed. It isn't exactly respecting a choice, but more like keeping things together. Humans connect easier than we realise, in the same way we disconnect easier than we would admit. But a connection once made, at most fades. It doesn't go away, wanted or unwanted.
Wonder, what do those born in the norm see?
I loathe dressing up and going for whatever. It used to be because I did not have the appropriate clothes for the occasion. Then it was because of the awkwardness in that artificial skin we donned for the event. Now, even as I learn to be an actor, I still find myself uneasy breathing in a mood deliberately hung up by someone else. (Yes, it wouldn't be that bad if I could tune the air myself.)
A friend once told me, "If you do not have a valid reason, you'll have to go". Indeed. It was either "Yes", or "Yes, but", never a simple, straightforward, easy "No".
I always thought people were weird in asking why not. Then I realised even they don't know what they are asking. They've fallen into the norm, and can't see the others outside of it.
And of course there are those who know when they ask why not. Though their ability to weave around the norm would have already accepted my easy "No".
Fortunately or unfortunately for me, this is the way society will remain. The norm is too entrenched, and it is tough for a fabric to be weaved if weaknesses are to be just allowed. It isn't exactly respecting a choice, but more like keeping things together. Humans connect easier than we realise, in the same way we disconnect easier than we would admit. But a connection once made, at most fades. It doesn't go away, wanted or unwanted.
Wonder, what do those born in the norm see?
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Travelling, a wanderer
This November, I've made two trips.
One on a seeking adventure through large cities and small towns, and another on a wandering stroll in a somewhat familiar place. I have mitigated the extremes in a sense, with extensive research and fact-finding before the trip to Japan, where I do not speak the language, and choosing a blank itinerary for Hong Kong, where I can get by sufficiently with speech.
Familiarity helps. Knowledge is necessary. It helps keep the eyes open, and prevents the senses from being overwhelmed.
We become conscious of ourselves in a foreign environment, suddenly realising how we are we, and how they are they. We need to first have an inkling of what others are like, so we can put these observations aside. Establish a basic reference, from which to enrich, shift, or obliterate altogether. That saves the effort of onerously building one in an unfamiliar city, where limited resources should be conserved.
Knowledge, must be packed for travels.
One on a seeking adventure through large cities and small towns, and another on a wandering stroll in a somewhat familiar place. I have mitigated the extremes in a sense, with extensive research and fact-finding before the trip to Japan, where I do not speak the language, and choosing a blank itinerary for Hong Kong, where I can get by sufficiently with speech.
Familiarity helps. Knowledge is necessary. It helps keep the eyes open, and prevents the senses from being overwhelmed.
We become conscious of ourselves in a foreign environment, suddenly realising how we are we, and how they are they. We need to first have an inkling of what others are like, so we can put these observations aside. Establish a basic reference, from which to enrich, shift, or obliterate altogether. That saves the effort of onerously building one in an unfamiliar city, where limited resources should be conserved.
Knowledge, must be packed for travels.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Us
One of us found the concept of portable barbeque. One of us needed company. One of us called for a meeting of the three of us.
We decided we would find a spot on Mount Faber, and went up the one-way road, and up and up and up, and then road started going down, and then down, and Mount Faber was over.
So we thought we would try out Bishan Park, and we went onto what we thought was CTE. And Toa Payoh went by. Then one of us opened the pack of Doritos. And it didn't matter where we were heading.
Out at Adam road, we decided we would do it at my place, and we were to reach before the Doritos ran out.
We ended up setting up the pit along the stairs. Sausages were to be fried instead.
End of food, we packed up and went back to the car for a drink. Parking lasted till 10.30pm, after all.
And we talked.
They left at midnight, on a Thursday night.
All because I needed company. That night, they wished only for me to sleep well, again.
Us.
We decided we would find a spot on Mount Faber, and went up the one-way road, and up and up and up, and then road started going down, and then down, and Mount Faber was over.
So we thought we would try out Bishan Park, and we went onto what we thought was CTE. And Toa Payoh went by. Then one of us opened the pack of Doritos. And it didn't matter where we were heading.
Out at Adam road, we decided we would do it at my place, and we were to reach before the Doritos ran out.
We ended up setting up the pit along the stairs. Sausages were to be fried instead.
End of food, we packed up and went back to the car for a drink. Parking lasted till 10.30pm, after all.
And we talked.
They left at midnight, on a Thursday night.
All because I needed company. That night, they wished only for me to sleep well, again.
Us.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Yes, you need a degree
Society needs university graduates. People need degrees. But not in the way the Singaporean government has made it out to be.
A university education should be about learning. Not blind pragmatism. It's true that school should be about skills for the work place, but the definition of those skills should not be limited to the same narrow field as the occupation.
It has been said that only 10% of what we learn in school is applicable in the work place. University takes up only four of 16 years in a typical JC student's study path. Then wouldn't the government's syllabus for the first 12 years be largely useless? Of course not! It is up to the individual to apply, however, whenever, whatever. Mathematics principles can be used in communication, geography cases in algorithm, history in strategy.
The classification of knowledge was never cast in stone firstly: computer, I.T., maths, physics, sociology, communication for example.
University opens minds. It puts you on the shoulders of giants. It illuminates the dance of ideas between the heads of many. It opens your eyes to see that thing you see every day differently. All before the brains of a typical undergraduate matures.
And for that, those who cannot bother with learning, should not bother with university.
A university education should be about learning. Not blind pragmatism. It's true that school should be about skills for the work place, but the definition of those skills should not be limited to the same narrow field as the occupation.
It has been said that only 10% of what we learn in school is applicable in the work place. University takes up only four of 16 years in a typical JC student's study path. Then wouldn't the government's syllabus for the first 12 years be largely useless? Of course not! It is up to the individual to apply, however, whenever, whatever. Mathematics principles can be used in communication, geography cases in algorithm, history in strategy.
The classification of knowledge was never cast in stone firstly: computer, I.T., maths, physics, sociology, communication for example.
University opens minds. It puts you on the shoulders of giants. It illuminates the dance of ideas between the heads of many. It opens your eyes to see that thing you see every day differently. All before the brains of a typical undergraduate matures.
And for that, those who cannot bother with learning, should not bother with university.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Running and motivation
I succumbed. I ran my first 8km (4x2km) in 10 years today. The familiar scents of the rubber track and freshly cut grass juxtaposed with the consciousness I'm no longer running as a student. Through the humdrum of pounding feet, a few thoughts dropped in:
1. Without an end, the same task gets dreadful
2. The nearer to the end, the further it looks
3. Focus on the task, the process, the environment, the end, the goal, anything but yourself. Being self-centred gives up hope, and welcomes negativity
4. Breaks, work. But too many breaks pull you back.
5. Know yourself to be able to achieve more.
6. Negotiate and compromise, but never give up hope.
I am ready for my first speaking engagement!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Flood
In that instant, so many things rushed through my mind.
I really want to, but are you that person to?
I really want to, but are you that person to?
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
That, is my great uncle
He has eight children and 13 grandchildren, together with their partners, and his wife of 60 years, all by his bedside on the morning of 11 May 2014. 30 people, including the domestic help, crowded into the upgraded three-room flat, all holding him the center of their world those two days.
He has awesome grandchildren, awesome children, an amazing wife, a beautiful family. They gave him a leg rub when he groaned, the children crowded around to tell him it was Chinese New Year and he must be happy, they told each other to do stuff for him, and they did. No complaints, no whining, no fear, no resistance.
The adults talk to anyone and everyone. They talk to the children, they talk to their mother, they talk to friends. They laugh at each other, with each other and for each other.
The children jump on top of each other and play. The boy with the smirk and swagger and bleached blonde hair eagerly brings out a set of chess to play with ah boy. They all joke and jab at each other. Then scramble over to pick up their things and head over to the coffin to wave goodbye before following their parents home.
Familiar, comfortable and naturally so. This is family.
He has a beautiful family.
That is my granduncle.
He has awesome grandchildren, awesome children, an amazing wife, a beautiful family. They gave him a leg rub when he groaned, the children crowded around to tell him it was Chinese New Year and he must be happy, they told each other to do stuff for him, and they did. No complaints, no whining, no fear, no resistance.
The adults talk to anyone and everyone. They talk to the children, they talk to their mother, they talk to friends. They laugh at each other, with each other and for each other.
The children jump on top of each other and play. The boy with the smirk and swagger and bleached blonde hair eagerly brings out a set of chess to play with ah boy. They all joke and jab at each other. Then scramble over to pick up their things and head over to the coffin to wave goodbye before following their parents home.
Familiar, comfortable and naturally so. This is family.
He has a beautiful family.
That is my granduncle.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Shoes
Beautiful
red shoes. Lovely cherry red. Centre of attention. Object of envy.
Alas, a pebble. Bites, nibbles, grinds, scratches, claws.
Endurance, ever possible. What's more, comfortable supporting cushions, beautiful assuring mother.
Endurance, starts dwindling. Cushions harden, protecting pebble. Still, beautiful assuring mother.
Stop, check. Bleeding, blistering feet. Pain, exhaustion, weariness.
Yet, beautiful red shoes, lovely cherry red.
Alas, a pebble. Bites, nibbles, grinds, scratches, claws.
Endurance, ever possible. What's more, comfortable supporting cushions, beautiful assuring mother.
Endurance, starts dwindling. Cushions harden, protecting pebble. Still, beautiful assuring mother.
Stop, check. Bleeding, blistering feet. Pain, exhaustion, weariness.
Yet, beautiful red shoes, lovely cherry red.
Sunday, February 09, 2014
原来我们比彼此意识的还要相同
我们，都固执。
坚持自己的想法，坚持自己的作风，坚持自己的理念，坚持自己爱的方式。
只是成长的环境不同，所以经历的事情不一样。结果，处事方式和看法不一。
原来我们比彼此意识的还要相同
坚持自己的想法，坚持自己的作风，坚持自己的理念，坚持自己爱的方式。
只是成长的环境不同，所以经历的事情不一样。结果，处事方式和看法不一。
原来我们比彼此意识的还要相同
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