Why arh?

I don't understand some people.. Why must they always complain about all things possible? Why must they insist on not being happy? What's wrong with things now?

Project mates are lousy. Some people can't even find a group.. It was hell week for you. What about other people? Why do you complain? Those other people aren't. Actually.. It's not that you can't complain. But why don't you want to take it positively after speaking it out?

Slept at 6 in the morning. For one night. What about those who cannot sleep more than 4 hours no matter how they would like to? Too many hall activities, no time for school work. Unless you're Karen (Ang) arh, I think no one should ever complain about that.

Not enough money. What about those who can't go to school cos they have no money? Not feeling well. What about those who are never 100% healthy anyway? Angry with your friends. What about those with no friends?

It's never a full stop after "I've got a lot of things to do." It's always "I've got a lot of things to do, but I will pull it through."

What is wrong with things now? Life is about happiness and love. Why do you want to push it away? Is it because you like being angry? Why do you like being angry? And when you complain, are you asking others to be angry with you? Why do you want others to be angry with you? What is wrong with things now?

There is nothing wrong with having all these feelings. But must you really complain? Must you always complain when you speak? I complain too.. But after I complain that's it. I'll go back, and whatever I complained about, I still enjoy it in the end.

"So busy with SWOC!!" But hey, I'm still in love with SWOC. "Got block comm meeting later.. So tired.." But I stil maintain that Block C block comm is the best around. It's still not a sai kang comm. And it won't be. "Have to edit my photos.. Cannot sleep.. :(" But when it's done, it's done. I don't talk about how late I slept cos I had to edit my photos. Unless someone asked what I was doing so late last night sorta thing.

Life is more than you and your problems. Why don't you want to look positively at what you have with you?

I know people who have absolutely no free time. I did two little photoshopped projects for SWOC, and I dare say that I did it in my free (lazing around/procrastinating) time. The moment I said that, immediately I got the reply that "at least you have free time.." And there are people who can legitimately say that. But they don't complain incessantly.

God gives us fears and worries so that we will grow and learn the value of peace and joy. Why don't people want to see the silver lining, but insist of being occupied with the dark clouds only? What is wrong with things now?

Eh? No problem. Just telling you that when you read my blog, look but not see. Once you click away from my blog, forget everything you've read.

So don't need to discuss what you've read on my blog outside the blog yeah. I've got a tagboard for you. Just type type type and press enter.

Then forget about it after you click away!

Ok, Ben Kee??

See you in hall too!

Please read the warning sign ya?

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What the fuck! CRAMPS!!

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This is a GENTLE reminder to all my blog readers out there. Don't need to hide. You're so obviously there.

WHAT'S SAID ON MY BLOG STAYS ON MY BLOG.

You hear me??

E-llo, Ben Kee, I'm talking to you. :)

No thank you

Ming Hui sent me a message earlier in the morning. She asked me to ask Joyce to bring her clothes to hall, to just say that we are considering whether or not to go to dnd.

I found that the hardest message to send so far.

Today I withdrew $50. (When I told Ming Hui, her first reaction was "Then go for DND la." Silly. That's not my point.) $20 went for transport, $13.80 went for the lunch at NYDC with SWOC for Haojie's birthday.

I had arleady pretty much decided to not go for DND already. But still, before receiving that message, I was still ready for last minute changes.

When that message came, I felt a total mix of sadness, envy (I don't know), disheartened, down. They had clothes at home to go for DND.

They only have to pay $50 for DND..

They can just bring their clothes to hall.

I can't.

In sec 4, prom was a compuslsory thing. My mother was so excited for me. She spent $200++ on my gown, my shoes, and even handbag. I never wore them out again. I feel it such a waste for her.. And she never got back that $200++ from my dad.

I hated taking photos them. I went there, and came back without a single photo taken. They had a disco floor which I hated, and I really didn't enjoy myself. That was the worst $200++ I've ever spent.

But that's in the past. Now it's DND.

I know, am I am very clear that I only need to open my door now and say "Let's go for DND!" And a whole handful of my level girls will go immediately. But that will be the only purpose of me going.

I don't have clothes for DND.

I can't just bring it from home.

And I won't have fun there.

I'm so sorry Ming Hui.. That message from you really just totally took away my interest in going. Nothing to be shocked about.

I know that if I want to go, my mother will gladly give me the money to. But she'll never get it back. My dad won't give her. Then what will she have left for herself?

Joy exclaimed "What kind of family is this?!" when she heard that my mother cannot talk to my dad to increase my pocket money. Joy, I am offended. Please take it back. There are too many things you don't know to make that remark.

JC prom we had a choice. IT didn't take me three seconds to decide not to go.

Don't ask anymore.

Haha..

Sometimes, I am really amazed at how some people can repeatedly disappoint me again and again just because they "don't want to".

I suddenly feel stupid for giving so much. And angry for what they did. Then I wonder if it was because I didn't do enough.

I am just severely disappointed..

I am FREAKING bored!

Bleah. VERY bored.. Friday night stuck in hall FOR ERC! Minghui, family day you better 自动 a bit k.. Too tired to study, to awake to sleep. Hrmph. I'm so bored.. I even started taking photos of myself! ME taking photos of myself!!

I wonder how many people from Anderson and NJ will willingly pay money to get hold of these photos..

And I realise I can see Yuan Bin's window from my room!

Ta-dah!!

I want to eat Cold Cut Trio!

But I only have 25 cents in my wallet.. Sponsors.. Anyone?

YES I CAN!

I will not let her negativity affect me.
I will not let his negativity affect me.
I will not let their pessimism affect me.
No one's pessimism can.

I will be positive.
I will spread my positivity around me.
I will achieve my dreams.
I will exceed my goals.
I will do more than what the best of my ability can.
I will excel in everything I do.
I will do all these and more.
YES I CAN!

oh.

I went with Lihao to church today. And I finally figured out why he's attitude is so bad at home, even though he attends church twice a week.

And my mummy bought me a bag! Two actually. One last week, when she passed by a shop and saw that it was on sale, then bought one for her, my brother and me! Hehe..

Then I asked her if can put laptop or not, she say that bag (above) not for putting heavy things one. I want to put laptop can, but must support the base. Then I was like "Orh."

I did pretty much think that that was the end of it.. Then she started asking me if I liked the bag, if I liked Lihao's kind of bag, that they sold that sort of bag in other colours in the shop etc etc. THEN I started getting her drift.

Haha. Today after service, I met her at Novena Square to look at the bag she was talking about. And we got this one!

I don't deny that I did want that bag. It's nice, it's stylish, it's pretty, and I can think of a lot of uses for it. My mother liked the other one, and kept telling me, "What ok? It's nice!" Haha. Ok. Yes mum, it's nice.

But wanting it was one thing, spending another seventy bucks for a bag was another thing. I did hesitate like "Really arh? Seventy dollars leh.." With pastor Prince's message about gifts, a person's value, and not deserving it at the back of my mind. (Pastor Prince's message is that we are undeserving, that's why what God gives us is a gift. There's no such thing as "Aiyo.. don't waste money on whoever la.." Because nobody's value can be determined by MONEY.)

But my wonderful mother (and she really did that) thought of an excuse to buy the bag for me, "Ah, I can buy for you for.. Chinese New Year!" I reminded her of the ang bao she gave us already, she didn't give previously. She said "That one different. That one is 压岁钱. This one is a present."

Hahaha. I love my mum. Because she has given me a gift. And not because I'm undeserving. But because I am her daughter. And she loves me so.

p.s. Come to think of it, I'll still love her whether or not she bought me those two bags. She's my mother wat. Heh. I LOVE YOU MUMMY!!

A level results today!

NJPS presidents rock! Honestly.. How do you get three presidents in a row with at least 6 distinctions for A levels??

Liu Lei (the president before me), 7 distinctions
Me, 6 distinctions

Shermin (my protege), 7 distinctions, top arts student

Oh darn. I suddenly look one distinction short. BUT NEVER MIND. I'm still proud of my results! I'm proud that I belong to such a talented line of leaders.

Whoa haha. NJPS presidents now need qualifying criteria. At least 6 distinctions to qualify. Too bad we'll only know after they step down..