Chinese New Year 2007!

It's the year of the pig! Oink oink. Haha. Damn shiok. This year ang baos bumper harvest. That means.. I can get by without giving tuition! And just rely on two meals a day. Mwahahaha!!

祝大家猪年一帆风顺，事事顺利！

And better still, it more than made up for the excess money I spent on New Year clothes. I totally have no idea how I bought so many clothes this year, considering previous years finding ONE was a challenge itself already..

Pretty or not?

Shopping for clothes with my brother is fun. He'll choose clothes that I like, and decision to buy or leave is made within 3 seconds. Ha!

My brother kept asking me to wear that pink top since 除夕, which I finally did on the second day, cos he said it was a killer. Haha. Should have posed with a dao face instead hor?

We went to Bottle Tree Village on 除夕for reunion dinner. Oh. Haha. Realised I just forgot to take photos of the Bottle Tree in front. (I keep having the tendency to spell it as Bottled Tree)

And I got bitten by a spider! Darn.

Look how big the bite was!

I came to realise something.. As we grow older, the fun things to do get lesser. We used to be able to play anything and everything when we were kids. Now, we get SO TOTALLY bored, we are actually excited by Newton's Cradle!

Bored cousins playing with a man's cradle..

Oh. And we had five minutes of fun with Bridge before the adults came by and took over the table.

Hahaha. There was such a severe lack of entertainment that on the night of the second day, two of the families even bought chess sets to pass the time! It's like we have to make sure entertainment will be there instead of letting entertainment come when it should, which used to be the case when we were kids.

And we went to Uncle Matthew's on the third day! He proudly announced that it shall be a tradition we all go to his house on the third day, until someone remarked that it is only provided every 初三 is a public holiday.

Grace has really pretty dimples.. I want dimples too! She somehow reminds me of Mei Ting. I don't know why. But I think she is prettier and funnier to watch when she thought she got her way but didn't. (Those boo-boo moments if you get me)

A prayer for him

Argh. Tong Hai is sick.. Bleah.

Dear Lord,

As I close my eyes in prayer tonight, I ask for nothing but the well-being of Tong Hai. I pray that no bad will happen. That his fever will stop only at a fever. That no complications will arise. That You will watch over him, and lay Your protective hand over him.

Father, as he rests his body in this two days, I pray that he will be able to recover fully, and when he steps into the office again, he will be rejuvenated, and in the pinkest of health.

Father, I pray that nothing will happen to him.

Amen.


I wonder (for the upteeth time) about the possibilities of me and him getting together..

Festive season

Valentine's Day is coming. Haiz.

So is Chinese New Year. Yay.

Simply because I am me

You know how it is when there are things that people want you to do no matter what.. Like partly cos they need to get things done, and partly cos it's you. Sometimes, it sucks.

Boing boing p-phhhhhhtt.

What it takes to be me.

When the time comes..

Those around me know, and they know damn well that if they were ever to fall, I would rush up to catch them. And no matter if I'm the first or not, I'll make sure that they'll never touch the floor.

What if it's me? When I fall, will anyone catch me? Will they rush up, or it's just a convenient gesture? Will I touch the floor?

Haha. What kept superman going all these years??

Heh

I changed my mind. On second thoughts, having a Nokia N73 Music Edition for a birthday present might still be a good idea after all! I just have to remember to upgrade the phone. Any takers??

imagination

There was a period of time when there was this mad woman who kept calling my house and harrassing my mother (that story for another day). Whoa. Damn irritating. She's the kind who can send 22 messages in 5 minutes (her phone must be damn power) all containing the same messages, accusing my mother and sounding like she's in deep shit cos of my mother.

So basically, she kept calling, asking for my mother, until there was a point in time when my mother's blood pressure shot so high she was having giddy spells. She eventually stopped, cos I always picked up the phone and made myself a total irritant, pretend-to-know-it-all-so-i-can-lecture-you kinda bitch in front of her and she got totally frustrated.

Haha. I'm in need of some entertainment lately.

And I was just imagining a day when she'll actually go right up to my house with a TV crew behind her, knocking on the door relentlessly calling for my mother to come out and face her. But to her ignorance, both my parents are out, and there left only my brother and me.

Ha! Entertainment.

Hearing the loud and repeated knocks, with my mother being called non-stop, I went to take a look through the peephole of the front door, and found the mad woman shooting her mouth off. Delighted, I quickly went to change into something more presentable (including wearing a bra) and went to comb my hair. Told my brother the situation and my brilliant plan. Then I waited for a whole minute or two more, before opening the door.

"Where's your mother?! Ask her to come out and face me!"

"Haiyo.. Knock and knock so loudly. The neighbours will think you're a mad woman. Wait a while la. I needed to change and comb my hair wat. Must look presentable for the camera ma."

Then looking at the camera behind her, "Hor?"

"I don't want to waste my time on you. Where's your mother?!"

"She's not in lor. Why do you want to look for her?"

"Jie, who's that?" My brother walks lazily out of the room

"Haha. Your good friend la. That one send you twenty plus messages to say good morning one."

"Oh. Her arh. Whoa. Got camera some more. Hi Mum! Hi Dad!"

"Hahaha. Oh yeah. I forgot to say hi. Hi Mum! Hi Dad!!!"

"Hai sian. I never style my hair. I go and watch TV liao." And he plops down on the arm chair in the living room and starts watching Kids Central.

"Tell your mother to come out!"

"Tell you already. She's not in. I didn't bluff you. If she doesn't want to come out, I'll tell you straight in the face also. But too bad, she's not in. I also want to tell you 'You're not worth her time.' But sad la, I can't tell you." And I just shrug non-chalantly.

"You..!"

"Arh.. wait wait wait. This is our house. Private property. Careful your feet. Don't trespass lei. Kanna sued for this kind of oversight very ridiculous. Oh. And watch the slippers too. They're our property as well.

It'll just be stupid to get yourself in the news for trespassing a five-room HDB flat. Hahaha. It sounds so silly just thinking of it."

"You don't know anything. I want to see your mother!!"

"Eh.. you want her photo?"

"Ask her to come out and see me!!"

"She's not in! I told you already. The last time you called our house thirty-odd times a day, I also didn't lie to you. If she didn't want to talk to you, I told you, she would not talk to you. If she wasn't in, I told you she wasn't in. I won't lie one la.

But you were quite dumb also. Call in the afternoon 2 pm? You think my mother no need to work meh? I don't know about you la.. But you can make so many phone calls in the afternoon, and send so many smses when people are working.. You got no job har?"

"That's none of your..."

"Ay jie! Spongebob Square pants!"

"I want to watch! I love brainless shows!"

And I join my brother in front of the TV set. The woman edges in to steal a glance and gets increasingly frustrated.

"Ooh! Watch it! You're about to step across the threshold! Oh camera man, can you take more footage of our trophy cupboard? It's nothing much.. But it's still our pride? Right brother?"

"Haha. Those old cups!"

Mad woman storms off in anger, unable to find my mother, unable to get what she wants, what she wrongfully thought she deserved.

My brother and I give each other a triumphant high-five!

Shit Talk

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Hm. I'm changing my mind. I don't want the N73 Music Edition for my birthday liao. Just a 2GB memory card and some genius who will change the camera on my 6280 to 3.2 Megapixel one.

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I look forward to excreting my bowel-ful of shit.

Chock full of shit!

I love it when I have a massive outward migration of crap, and the feeling of all my abdomen muscles being released from the tension of storing the shit.

The worst scenario (as we discussed after dinner one night during rag dance practice) is when you're 90% done, and you asshole closes up. Shit! That little bit away from euphoria.

Usually, when I don't shit after a period of time, my stomach will have an onslaught of a huge, rumbling pain. And when it's all released in the privacy of a cubicle, hail stones will rain down, which gradually tames down to snow, then sleet until it's no more than a thin trail of slush.

And after that, peace! Peace for our time! Tropical islands, windy days, coconut trees and fruit cocktail. Whoa shiok!

I sooooooooo look forward to that day.

And please remind me to check for toilet paper.

The best things in the world

The best dish in the world is my mother's xiao bai cai. The best place in the world is home. The best friends in the world are my papaya and watermelon, Tong Hai, and my power of three. The best love in the world is what my mother's love is for me. The best song in the world is the "Amazing Grace" that my dad used to sing me to sleep when I was a kid. The best gift in the world is the Bible that my mother bought for me in sec 2.

The best thing I can do to give them back is to study hard and be happy.

I need answers!

I am suddenly brought back to the time when I remember a senior saying something about the point system in hall. She said that some people don't deserve it, and another senior agreed with her that some people really don't deserve it.

Now, I find myself in this situation. Somebody is getting what he doesn't deserve. AT ALL.

Damn! I need answers!

Just another Sunday afternoon

I was watching VCDs at home just this afternoon. Lady Fan. Haha. Can't seem to get enough of it. Disc 1 to 20 straight and I'm still thinking of it.

Then my mother came in. She had to go out. And I told her I was going back to hall late afternoon. And she came in. And she hugged me. Very tightly. All the while saying, "Aiyo, my dear daughter.. Don't know when can see you again. Must bao bao you more often."

I tell you. This feeling sucks. It sucks big time. I hate it.

There in my mother's arms, I didn't want to go back to hall either. I can just feel all her 不舍得 in that hug. Fuck! My own mother! And I can't spend enough time with her!

Someone just tell me this is all worth it..

The story of a little lily

There once was a lily. Young, brash, impulsive, and said what she felt, seldom holding back her words. When this lily was still a seed in the pod, she had dreams of settling in a garden, then growing and blooming into a beautiful flower.

When she finally burst out of her pod, the little seedling went around asking which garden was the best. And finally, she decided that Evergreen Garden was to be her home. It had everything good for her. It was nearby, the flowers were strong, and the garden on the whole looked pretty decent. She liked that place, and could imagine herself flying in the wind to her nearby would-be home.

The excitement was just too great to contain. The proximity was such a great draw that she felt she could just touch the garden fence already.

Then, some things changed, and she was swallowed by a bird. Together with some other seeds, the bird carried her in its stomach and flew and flew. It flew across a beautiful garden called Serene Home. This garden was one of the newest gardens, and boasted wonderful facilities, complete with a fence activated only by an electronic card system.

The little lily seed loved the whole ride to Serene Home, especially the seeds together with it in the bird's stomach. She had so much fun, she almost completely forgot about her old friends from the lily pod! And after the ride, the little lily seed knew that Serene Home was to be actual her home where she will sprout and bloom.

Together with the other seeds, she was passed out of the bird and fell towards Serene Home. The seeds were all scattered into the different plots. But the lily seed did not. She fell on hard, concrete floor. Not because she didn't manage to fall on the soft earth, but she was pushed onto the concrete by a Jalepeno.

The Jalepeno did not like the lily. Because the lily once liked Evergreen Garden, and felt that the garden was all too wonderful because the distance from it was so short. That angered the Jalepeno. But the lily felt that the Jalepeno was being petty, and was really indignant about ending up on concrete.

It began rambling to itself, and daydreaming aloud how she can teach the Jalepeno how not to be petty. But never did she expect that the other plants were listening too!

The Jalepeno got angered even further as it got to hear what the lily was talking. Unable to contain its resentment, the Jalepeno woke the lily up from late at night and had a good talk with her. The lily couldn't retort much of an answer either. She should have known better.

At the same time, unknown to the little lily, there were many plants in the garden helping the lily out. They talked to the Jalepeno, trying to persuade it to allow the lily to grow in the garden. The Jalepeno probably was already slightly persuaded to allow the young and ignorant lily to stay, but the two flowers that most likely sealed the deal was possibly the Eucalyptus and the Dandelion.

On the final night, before the lily could not wait any longer, the Eucalyptus and Dandelion had a long talk with the Jalepeno, and eventually persuaded the Jalepeno to let the lily germinate in the garden.

The lily was really really grateful to all the other flowers who helped her.. Those that she knew, and those that she didn't. Sometimes, when she taught about it, tears of gratitude just fill her eyes unwittingly. Although initially furious at the Jalepeno for making a mountain out of a molehill, the lily soon began to realise the best way to return what the other flowers did for her was to show them their decision was the correct one.

And so, she didn't just made sure she germinated, sprout and grew well, she helped made sure the flowers around her were growing happily in the flower bed. She contributed what she should, gave what she would, to do what little she could for the flower bed and the garden.

Perhaps, earlier on, the lily would live happily in spite of the Jalepeno. But someone has to end this nonsense, and the lily decided that it should end on her side. Now whatever she does for the garden is not just to thank the other flowers for helping her, but also to show the Jalepeno that its decision to let the little lily stay was not a wrong one.

Happy 2007!!

This is a post meant for yesterday, but my internet connection went down.

Whoa! Finally went out with the NJPS gang after sooooooooooooo long. And finally gave Chee Fung his birthday present after five months and 14 days. Haha. Happy birthday papaya!

Look what Jun Zhan did to his phone!

We went up to Sheares bridge, (our favourite shaky, unstable, vibrating fireworks spot), spotted a fallen Mango mannequin along the way, took a few photos, got a lot of attention, counted down, took the fireworks and spent the night out. Quite eventful actually.

Haha. We were told that the fireworks will come out in phases. The first (nicely called first burst by Jun Zhan) one at 10 pm, next at 11 pm, 11.30 pm and the last one at 12 am.

We were really all anticipating for the first burst at 10 pm. And when huge spotlights suddenly came on at the field below the bridge, we were so totally excited. Only to see pathetic sparks coming out of the NTUC building. We were like "What the hell?!"

At 11 pm, after bravely deciding not to get my gingerbread latte, we were aroused again when the spotlights came on, ONLY TO SEE THE SAME SPARKS FROM ANOTHER BUILDING. One Raffles Quay if I'm not wrong.

Damn stunned. I didn't even take any photos. I was just at a loss for words. WHAT THE HELL LA!! There were a lot of speculations. Like test-fire, mis-fire, IA, IIA, who could actually see what happened etc etc. Jun Zhan even predicted a question people at the Esplanade would ask, "What's the commotion?" There were a lot of anticipation too. And the two clowns were actually arguing if it would be Godzilla or Transformers that will emerge from under the boats.

At 11.30 pm, the bump boats (or however you spell it) and duck tours were already taking position in front of the bridge. Party revellers and tour guides hyping up the atmosphere and everything. Quite exciting. The 11.30 pm fireworks was also quite short, but we were pretty much sian diao already.

It was the 12.00 am one. That the real deal begin. Haha. The first few bursts were really big and loud. I freaked out la. But after that, the snapping began, full scale. My roll of film ended nicely near the end. Although I'm probably going to be puking blood when I get them developed.

8-seconds without tripod!! What the hell.. I can't believe I did that either. Just my camera and my hands. The photos are either going to be super chui, or I'm super lucky.

Haha. After the fireworks, when we finally left, we only wanted a place to sit down and rest. And we decided on TCC! Somewhere other than Macs. Haha. As it turned out, there is really no place that is really 24/7 other than Macs. Try as we might, we can't defy their monopoly. Macs wins hands down.

The HUGE traffic flow after the fireworks

We walked to Bras Besar, saw the TCC closed and refused to walk into a very crowded Macs. So we decided to head down towards Orchard Road and try our luck. Halfway through, we spotted a TCC with people still inside! Only to find out they were not letting anymore customers in. Then later on, we saw a Starbucks that was still open. Hope! Went in, and they said only takeaways cos they were closing. Damn! But never mind! I decided to get my gingerbread latte there and satisfy my craving.

And as we reached Plaza Sing, we saw a TCC still open! Whoa best! And found out they were closing at 3.00am. But on the other hand, the Starbucks across the plaza, was STILL open! Damn it man! This went on for the whole night. Wrong bets, just missed last orders, opposite shops still open.. Haiyo! Everything we did to not go into MacDonald's failed.

In the end, at around 5 in the morning, we walked into the Macs at Lucky Plaza (I think). Macs wins, hands down.

Haha. By that time, we were already pretty full from all the stops at (what we thought were) 24/7 restaurants. And Jun Zhan had to leave for camp. Haha. Chee Fung finally achieved the feat of not falling asleep at 5 am. It turned out it was Nuria who couldn't tahan in the end.

Chee Fung still couldn't resist the attack of the Z-monster

On the train ride home with Chee Fung, I didn't sleep much either. Five minutes at most I think. And could still go for half-boiled eggs with him at Toa Payoh. Haha. My first New Year's day spent outside and with my dear NJPS gang. Very well worth it I'd say.

On the bus ride home when the sun has risen

Haha. I'm still laughing (to myself) when I think of how they argue if transformers or godzilla will come out.

Couldn't resist this photo of Toa Payoh with the four rooftop cranes..

Unsinkable

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Wanted to write a clever poem on cramps, but just totally didn't have the mood (or tolerance).

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I logged on to Friendster just now. And saw that Jen Yuh updated her profile. Damn! I miss that woman. Kinda sad to realise that the only photo I have of us is one we took before the release of O (!) levels results.

Char, me and Jen

Haha. Also don't know how come can just cry looking at her.. I think everyone with real, true friends will understand how a simple "Love you!" or "I'm always here for you!" in any lousy, old email can totally make your day.

Haha. I remember how you always scold me for playing in the rain on the way to the mrt station, and your usual "Are you not going to eat lunch again?" and subsequent "can you please remember to have lunch?!" when you went over to kiwiland.

It's kinda funny thinking back. How you kept thinking you were 14 and how I keep thinking I'm 13 because of our register numbers. How we got closer just because we sit one in front of the other during exams. How I started calling you auntie because Tan Cheng Wee was my daddy. Haha.

I mean, life is so amazing isn't it? Some shitty things came first, so I know how wonderful it is to have you, then shitty things that come later are not even shitty. New people come, some stay, some go. But this connection never weakens.

It sucks la. That the three of us only get to spend 4 hours together once every 2 years. But every 4 hours always seems to be the best 4 hours ever, and each time it seems to get better.

A lot of times, I feel I should give you more. So much more. For all that you have given me, the thousand and one times you really are always there for me. Haha. But you never need me to be there for you. And somehow, the best thing I can do for you is to be happy.

Haha. I promise I won't let you worry. I promise you that when you ask "How are you?", I'll tell you I'm very happy with my life and it will be the truth. I promise you I'll keep my promises. Haha. I don't have to promise to always be there for you, or to listen to you whenever you wanna talk. You know I will.

It seems so natural for us isn't it? The kind of "be there and listen" thing between friends.

Haha. I also don't know how to end this entry. Whatever la. Maybe it's a show of our never-ending friendship that a full-stop cannot deny. Haha. Friends to the end. (Even though there's no end.)

Our puzzle!

Yay! Our holiday puzzle is complete!! Hahaha. It's soooo cute! And Minghui is soooo tired after doing it. (She slept at 6am, woke up at 10am). BUT she said it wasn't because of the puzzle.

Ok. Minghui, I believe you. On the account that you are holding my photos for the SWOC website. Hehe.

And.... here's our puzzle!!

It's suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuper cute! Argh. I feel like tickling them. Minghui liked the puzzle because 1. They're cute dogs and 2. She thinks the middle doggy looks like her. (Both have eye bags)

Haha. But I like the doggy on the right! It's got big eyes! And very playful. And very nice, curly fur.

This gets exciting..

I realised I should continue defending myself, and I'll start to see more angry comments about my blog. Hahaha. The fun begins!

Ok. Firstly, if Zhan Lun ever found my blog, Miss Leow is so sorry. I misread your goodwill friendster testimonial. Haha. Read too quickly. Didn't realise your happy christmas is not merry christmas. So sorry la.

Anyway, let's move on to the different names who seem really unhappy that I'm happy with my life. Guy says I am delusional because I want people to feel that way if they read my blog. Well, I said you're WRONG. And you went on to say my vocabulary is limited, and that you claim that I thought I was smart pinpointing him out.

Aiyo.. All wrong la. So ma lu.. you. I don't want people to feel pity for me after they read about how I think my dad isn't giving enough pocket money, nor would I want them to feel angry (at me or with me) because of what I said. This blog was created, never meant to be found. But I was dumb enough to use blogspot, and it spread like no one else's business. Maybe not in your world, but in mine.

My blog is my blog. What is said here, stays here. My life is a different thing. I can choose to bring my life in here, but what happens here does not go out. So I won't want people to have those feelings, neither would I want to beg for it. It stays here, man. People treat me as they do not know the contents of the blog. And they do.

Yeah well, my vocab is probably limited. I'm not any spelling bee whiz you know. But if I can still evoke emotions from you despite a narrow range of words, the writing has to be good somehow. And I didn't think I was smart for pinpointing him. For what?! I just believe that whatever you say, you should have the courage to put down your name wat.. So cowardly.. put down "guy", "stalker".. So when I thought you were my student, I put down your name for you lor. Just so sorry to my student that I misread his message. And I'm not too cowardly to admit I've made a mistake!

Ok, and stalker. Haha. Silly name. I didn't interrogate my student la. And you sound more ignorant than guy. Though you still sound like you debating yourself using two different names. You can claim that there are many out there willing to take the place of guy, and I can say that everyone you can find to put their name in the cbox, is just another name used by you. No proof man! Sad people..

Oh hey lost, I never wanted to be your model, or anyone's model per se. This blog is a place for me to shout out what I want, to no one in particular. Not for me to lead my life for other people to see.. So you shouldn't say that I am nothing you want to be after looking at my life through the blog. Very sad thing to do, you know. Because firstly, you really don't know how I am like in real life, my blog is not a true reflection of it, and secondly, you should lead your own life man. Why follow other people? And of course, how much of me do you understand after reading the blog?

p.s. After this post, I think people will start saying that I'm typing nonsense, I don't understand what I'm/they are saying. Haha. Bring it on people! Let the fun begin!!

A peek into a SWOC meeting

I know you wanna know. I know you SOOO wanna know. What goes on behind the door in the JCRC room in a SWOC meeting.

It's so exciting isn't it? 13 freshies locked inside a room with a director, and despite the full transparency of the room, you still do not know what goes on in there.

Do you wanna know? I can tell you.. (If you get me the Nokia N73 Music edition)

So.. read on! If you have the sincerity.

We had a 2-hour-turned-3.5-hour meeting on Friday, 22nd December. (I wanted to say yesterday, but I realised it's already 12.55 am, hence it's now officially Sunday.) And it's one of the best 3-hour meetings I've ever had. It felt nothing like 3.5-hours at all.

It was SUPER funny!

We had seven items on our agenda, and we were all expecting a long meeting already. BUT no one expected such a funny meeting. It was so funny, we had to control our laughter so that we wouldn't accidentally pee in our pants because we drank too much water and needed the toilet urgently but didn't want to miss out on anything.

It was only until a while later when (hero) Edward finally said he needed the toilet that we all realised 4 out of the 5 girls needed the loo, and the rest of the guys were just putting their army training into good use.

It was quite a good meeting actually. We still managed to get some work done, amid all the time we died laughing and resurrecting repeatedly.

(personal jokes will now take centre stage)
We managed to seriously talk about what is Sheares Hall to us, often going seriously back to the serious question "So what is Sheares Hall?" and people just died la. Hao Jie just totally collapsed onto the floor shake-ing for oxygen.

There were some irrelevant topics as well. Like brush(!)es, shine and shimmers, and BLEACH! Yuan Bin even got into a role-playing mood and started acting like Al (or however you spell it). And we came to an agreement that the male characters in Bleach (actually all anime for that matter) are very shuai (帅 not 衰).

And there was a lot of love in the meeting. Zaihao cooked tang yuan for all of us! And Hao Jie bought REALLY pretty cupcakes for everyone. It was sooooooooo pretty, it took us around 15 minutes to finally take a cupcake instead of photos. And Yuan Bin and Shixiu gave everyone chocolates with a very nice card design that they drew till 6 am in the morning.

couldn't get the cupcake to face the front, and me to look correct next to it.

A whole box of loveliness

tangyuan break

Till then! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Oh. And you've read the whole entry. Please remember the Nokia N73 Music Edition for my birthday.

And the rain comes fallin' fallin'

Whoa rain! My goodness. It's like totally one whole day, one whole night, and one whole morning. Even my non-aircon hostel room has turned air-con room. Couldn't believe when I woke up. Soo cold, you can keep your milk refrigerated on my table!

And it must rain just when I'm moving in. First trip to hall, rain. Trip back home for dinner, rain. Trip back to hall for the night, still rain (I was even walking in ankle deep water and trying to keep my slippers from coming off for the fourth time!). Next day, (it didn't even stop throughout the night) when I went home, RAIN. This one was damn incredible.

At the stretch of road at MacRitchie reservoir, it was FLOODED. Up to 90 cm deep. When the bus went down. Oh my goodness. How I wish the windows were ceiling-to-floor ones. I could have seen the water washing up against the bus la! And I was so stunned, I didn't even take photographs!

It was super amazing. The waves created by the bus were just like those at Sentosa when you're more than knee deep in the water, washing up to your waist at times. The people standing in the rain (workers and policemen) were either enjoying their time as heroes in the rain, or have found the perfect look to return those gaping stares from people in the vehicles.

When I went back to hall from home, STILL rain. But never mind! This time I was happy. Cos I was determined to take the a video of the little ride semi-underwater. But alas! The bus took a detour at the last minute. Bleah.

And I could only take pictures of the immense traffic jam along the detour.

I wonder what happens to those people waiting at the bus stops that the buses skipped though.. Hai.. poor things.. And they cannot call for cabs, since taxis won't really want to go there either..

THE Birthday Wish List

Here's my first annual Birthday Wish List! (first annual because this is the first time I'm doing this)

1. Nokia N73 Music Edition
pink if possible, but any colour is fine, as long as it's not all silver/grey
make sure the 1 GB memory card is there
and make sure it's the music edition
check it out if you're unsure.. http://www.nokia.com/nseries/index.html#product,n73_me

2. If a new handphone is all but possible, then a 1GB miniSD card will do
or (sigh!) a 128MB miniSD card

3. Piano score for "You Can't Say" from the Korean drama All About Eve
The last time I checked, the book with that music score is out of publication. So.. good luck!

4. Piano score for JJ's "冻结" and "一千年以后"
I've been hunting for them (with my spear and all) for a looooong time already.. Now I pass the responsibility to you. Ha!

5. Haha. I wanted to put down those downloadable games from the internet. Then I realised I
can grow tired of them quite easily as well.. So no point!

6. Oh! New shoes will be nice.. That one I'm easy. Just as long as IT LOOKS NICE!
I'm talking about track shoes by the way.. But if you want to give me other kinds of going-out shoes, I'm cool too.

7. Hm.. I'll fill in the rest later. When I think of more. Hehe.



So.. SAVE UP EVERYONE! It's still a while before April swings by!!

A message for my dear C.K.

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Thought of showing a photo of my tummy fats. But thought better of it. (Ok, heave your sigh of relief..)



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CK! Haiyo CK!!! I know my pimples are coming when they're coming out.. but you don't have to point them out to me EVERYTIME THEY COME OUT!! Oi! Very observant is it?? You think I don't know meh?? Arh bsh! Next time I have another pimple (choi!), DON'T bring it up! Or else.. I'll pull out your leg hair by hand! Bleah.


p.s. I was playing virtual villagers downloaded from bluemountain.com.. Usually the downloaded games could exceed the time limit and let us play as long as we want just as long as we don't exit the game. Tamade! All I did was to turn off the full screen and I CAN'T PLAY ANYMORE! sob..!

Oh well..

Ok.. Never mind the earlier complaints and what not. Yesterday my dad scolded my brother for withdrawing too much and not being able to account for it. Ok ok.. I know he lent some money to Mercy, and my mum, but oh well, he still spent unneccesarily (more unneccessarily than me) with a significant portion of it.

Argh!

Sometimes, I so totally feel that my parents never have the same expectations of my brother as they have of me.

I'm not allowed to be selfish, but he fucking is.

I'm not allowed to waste food, spend unneccessarily (like getting a drink during lunch!), have any extra luxuries (like buying something that costs $2.50 for lunch instead of $2!) BUT HE FUCKING CAN!!

I'm so fucking damn pissed now!

Hello! You've got TWO kids here!! Which one did you forget??

Screw that jackass brother!

From an entry with nothing to write

I'm finally at home! (Okok. I'm finally SPENDING TIME at home.) But I don't know what to write! Haha. Ok.. Let's see..

Ex-SWOC Treat's finally over. No more 12 - 2 am (total madness!) cheering and anthem sessions.

Done with the many socks, successfully distributed.

Socks socks socks!!

And Gilyn got ponded on her birthday. Along with Caroline as a side dish.

And the rest of us as dessert.

Where's Kim Seng??

With an additional Britney on the side

Argh. I so totally have a gut feeling it'll be my turn on my birthday. I JUST HOPE I won't get a triple ponding (SWOC, Block C and X-Men!). Just one from SWOC is enough. And pray I don't get my period on my birthday!!

Freedom!!

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Is Kim Yee Haun Korean?? I have been tricked by the entire level 6! Samson said he's from science and Yee Huan says he is Korean!! Bleah. 김 이 한 !

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Exams are finally over! And the world is finally big again! Haha. Everything I want to do all at once! Heh. One month to try it all out. Let's go!!

Suicide

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I finally got my bolster! Lalalalala. Hehe. And a teaspoon. And my cheque is on the way to the bank. And I FINALLY WENT HOME! Heh.

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So anyway. Suicide. Quite a taboo topic isn't it? And those who read this blog will probably start thinking I'm suicidal and everything. Heh. I'M NOT.

I used to think I was a pessimist for thinking about these kinda things. Death, pain, misery. Not just me, but my friends and family as well. (So sorry to drop it on you that I imagine you dying horribly this way.)

But then I realised, will a pessimist honestly think about these kind of stuff? They're usually not so far-sighted, aren't they? Pre-occupied about the present, worrying about the worst that will happen to them, and they'll definitely be unable to cope.

It is the optimist who will seriously consider death. Because only an optimist will be able to come to terms with death and misery. And hence, I conclude, I am an optimist. Ha!

I do not think that death is scary. Neither do I think that pain nor misery are. They (pain and misery) are horrible experiences, yes, but how much harm can it bring? Let's face it. They do more good than bad.

So anyway, back to my thing about suicide. I ever thought about it. (Ok duh. There wouldn't be this blog entry otherwise) My favourite way of suicide is carbon monoxide poisoning. It's painless, and since it's usually from the air-conditioning of a car, it's comfy! If I ever were to commit suicide, and I have a choice, I'd definitely choose a car (Lexus, BMW or Mercedes will do), turn on the air-conditioning, with my bolster, comforter and bear bear and go to sleep!

I have fears (I'm human after all). Fear of falling, fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of punishment, fear of being unable to escape... The list goes on. And dying through carbon monoxide poisoning (hehe!) circumvents all my fears.

I know that there are people in this world who are afraid of Death. But why? Because death makes you leave the ones you love behind? Because death strips you of all the things that means to you? Or because death stops everything you have going on in life?

But if you'll just think about it. As in, really think and consider about it, death gives meaning to life. Because life has to stop one day, so people will strive to make the most out of it Because life has an end road, that is why people don't want to let it go.

Life is a wonderful thing. The potentials are limitless. And death might seemingly remove these infinite possibilities achievable by Man. But if there was only life and no death, how much of these possibilities will even be achieved by us?

p.s. If you find this whole entry morbid, and my jokes just disgustingly dark, then you just haven't gotten to terms that everyone will die one day. That's ok. You might think I'm crazy for now. But how much of a smile do you want to wear on your deathbed? Be happy that you've reached your time to move on, or be sad because you want to hold on to all you've had in your life? The choice is yours.

p.p.s. I would have liked to talk about the pros and cons of different ways of suicide. Like jumping off a building didn't need money, since the buildings are there already, but the pain is probably HUMUNGOUS, compared to dying of carbon monoxide poisoning in a car.. But oh well. Went with the flow and this was where I ended up.

So.. Hope you enjoyed the story!

Bubble tea

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Don't you feel tempted to leave a comment after reading my blog? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE FEEL TEMPTED?? WHY??

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There's always something about bubble tea that makes me excited.. Literally. Maybe it's because I haven't drank milk tea in a long while. But after one full cup of bubble tea TODAY.

MY FINGERS STARTED TREMBLING!

Look at my shaky fingers.

Bleah. It's as though I've got cyanide poisoning or something.

But still, THANK YOU REMY for the bubble tea. We really appreciate it. Despite the quivering fingers.

Anyone wants to sponsor Starbucks coffee next time? I like Java Chip.

My rooftop

I WON THE BATTLE AGAINST THE FUNGUS!!! Hahahahaha!!! I'm so damn happy la!! That freaking fungus, won't die despite all the insecticide/fungicide. Then Ming Hui suggested a REALLY good idea the other time. Fire. Since it's so afraid of heat, dying when there is no sun.

And so, I went to the lounge, looking for a lighter, but leaving with the starter instead. Went up to the rooftop, filled up a pail of water just in case. And clicked the starter.

Poof! The fire came on. And I started burning the fungus. It didn't crinkle and shrivel like I expected but it cackled! I have no idea if it was the wood or the fungus. But it did turn black for a little bit..

But wth! It did not burn! Then I decided to try a method I've been thinking of for quite a while. SCRAPE IT OFF.

I grabbed a shovel sitting next to me, aligned it with the line of fungus and SLID the shovel along the wood. AND IT CAME OFF JUST LIKE THAT!

Rows and rows of fungus just peeling off so quickly. My goodness! It's an orgasm!!

I feel so satisfied as I looked at the pathetic fungus just lying on the floor helpless against my extermination. Especially those big clumps that could resist the fungicide. Just dropped useless on the floor. Shiok!

Then I saw the lighter lying by the side. And decided to kill off the roots as well. So I took the lighter and starter heating up the WOOD itself. Sayona-ra sucker! Hahaha.

Too bad I don't have photos to show you. Cos I think it's so freaking disgusting and irritating I didn't want to pollute my handphone. But if you could see the before and after effects.. You would feel my orgasm too.

Fwahahaha.

But here's a look at the aftermath.

The dark areas are where the fungus used to grow.

I tried to look for them on the floor. But they are (mocking sadness) no longer there. Hehehehe. Yes! Battle against the fungus. I WON.

But there are beautiful things on the rooftop as well. My hibiscus is blooming! And this other flower that I don't know what the name is.. But it's blooming too! So pretty!! We'll wait a while more, and see if the cactus will bloom too. Right now, its leaves are just in a super healthy state. Long and green, and not sagging.

And here's are my pretties!

Queen of photoshop

I AM THE QUEEN OF PHOTOSHOP! Nah. Actually I'm not. If I am, I wouldn't have had to stay up all night photoshopping furniture. Oh golly me! I still can't believe I really did that. Just in case some other people still our wonderful idea, I'll just show a glimpse of my photoshopping genius.

Look what I did to this bar counter:

www.bargizmos.co.uk

Tadda!!!

This one I'm most proud of..

www.luxurylivingchannel.com

The most amazing photoshopped work!!

I rock right?? Tell me tell me. I so totally rock right!! How to rotate the sofa around man?? How to remove the cushion and add in the planks? How to.. do this whole thing?? I am the QUEEN!

I so totally think that Adobe should sponsor me their latest version of Photoshop.. I'm still using a super old version. Darn.

Pirate ship

Tonghai came today!! I was soooooooooooo excited. I couldn't sleep last night. Although it was already 3.20 am. I couldn't get out of bed at 8 until I remembered Tonghai was coming. And immediately, I was energetic. After lecture, I came back to water the plants as usual. And waited for his sms.

But decided to take a nap until his sms came. I met him at the bus stop outside central library. I arrived from hall. The moment I got down the bus, I raaaaaaaaaaaan across the road, zipped in front of a taxi and raced up to him. With a gigantic smile on my face. He smiled back. (Though I'm not sure if that was laughing at me or just smiling back.)

Quite a waste that he has to go back immediately after lunch today. I would so happily spend two more hours with him. But oh well. At least he came.

Then I went back to hall to relax a while. Before going for tutorial. I was still smiling to myself while walking in. Then outside the classroom, I got a bomb.


I don't know what to think. I suddenly feel exploited. It's as though I'm expected to give, but forgotten when it's my time to take. I remember when I told her the news, she expected me to just give it up. She said "Can you like just tell them you don't want? Just don't take it up." I was shocked at her reply. I thought she'd at least support me or leave it for me to decide.

I don't know why she didn't think that if I didn't want, I wouldn't have gone for the interview.

I thought maybe she asked everyone else after lecture, but apparently, she had asked them yesterday. Dammit! It's so super cheated can?? Why didn't she include me in? She left so many questions dangling in the air. Is this how she plans things? People say she has potential, why can't I see any?

Or was I never meant to be included in the first place? She could have just asked, even if she knew I would say no. Why must I find it out from someone else? Someone else who includes. Someone else who congratulated me when she heard the news. Someone who said it was ok, and I should go for the bigger one. Someone who will answer all my questions!

Haiz. It's not that I mind learning it from this someone else. She is just as dear to me. But when she is not the person organising the whole thing.. It makes a lot of difference.

This is one of those feelings you get on the pirate ship. A huge sinking feeling in your stomach. From waaaay up high, to waaaaaay down low.

Tong Hai is coming...............!

Tong Hai is coming tomorrow!! Woo hoo!! I want to eat Yong Tau Foo!! Curry, with fat bee hoon. Hehe. So excited!

The exams are coming

*cue Paul Revere on horseback riding through the town shouting out his lungs "The exams are coming! The exams are coming!!!" And the exams appearing over the horizon, with their red uniforms and rifles... Ok. a bit too far. But point gotten.

Everyone's studying!

Some have even given up on fashion..

Darn. Words too small. They read PIGTAIL ALERT! if you don't have super-bionic eyes like mine.

The world now revolves around books. Let the fun begin!

I'm not poor

I've been having this bad habit. I keep saying I'm poor. Actually, not really. I just keep saying I don't have money. It's not true. Cos I realised I still get to stay in hall, (as nicely pointed out by someone). So I'm not poor! Yay!

I just have pocket money that covers my phone bills, transport, textbooks, and course packs. Groceries, meals and clothes aside. Money to go out and enjoy myself is definitely from my pocket money. That's taken for granted. Miscellaneous bits.. Too minor to ask for more.

But I'm not poor. I can still stay in hall.

My dad just thinks that I don't need so much money. $160 a month is more than enough for me. It's actually already more than what he intended for me. If I want to go on SEP, it's best if I find somebody to sponsor me. Like scholarships, or bursaries. Or I'll just pay for it partially, and he pays the rest, or I'll borrow from him first.

I'm not poor. I can stay in hall.

I'm really not poor. He is more generous than he was when we were still living in Eastern Lagoon.

I have enough to spend on food, as long as I don't spend more than $2 on a meal. Don't buy the more expensive food. Go for the cheapest. I have to have discipline, and not always eat the food I like. Don't buy drinks. Drink plain water. Bring water bottle. Don't buy snacks. Don't buy sweets. These luxury items waste unnecessary money.

I'm not poor. I can stay in hall.

We used to move from condo to condo. From Bayshore Park to Eastern Lagoon. From a one-storey rented condo to a penthouse. Even though the penthouse was very heavily discounted. That was before we finally moved to a HDB flat. But I could still have my own room. With my own computer, and my own laptop.

I'm not poor. I just have very little to spend.

As long as I can see things the way he does, I'll be able to see that I have more money to spend. I might even be able to start eating lunch more often. And not skip two days' lunch to eat something I like on one day.

If only exams weren't over. Then I would still be giving tuition. $200 more a month. Luckily Papa forgot I was giving tuition when he decided on my pocket money for me. I wonder how much he would have given me if he remembered, or if I reminded him. Haha. I can still remember that sudden stunned look when I said I was going to give tuition, just before I went out the other time.

I'm not poor. I can stay in hall.

Sick!

My nose is doing a marathon, I've got the tired rash, I'm sleepier than usual, and I can't think properly.

I am officially sick!

dammit..

K.O.

Reflections

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Tong Hai's so sweet! Hehe. I LOVE MY TONG HAI!!!!

Someone tell me why PSA Vista and NUS AS7 shows up on my phone before standby mode..

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Thinking back to the kind of guys I go for, past to present, and what people have been telling me, and how I feel, and what I think..

I think in the end, it was Tong Hai who put it through best..

喜欢他也因为当初喜欢他这个样子。不能因为我喜欢他而要他改。。

Yeah lor. Resign to fate ba.

A dream

Last night, I dreamt that I had $240 a month for pocket money.. PLEASE LET THAT HAPPEN!!

Rain as explained by me

When I was a kid, like around four or five, I used to think that it rained because people UP there were washing their hands. And the water that washed down the drain became rain down here.

They'll all be wise, old men, in long, white cloaks and long beards. Queueing to wash their hands at the sink of the guest room in my old house. Or at least a sink like the one in the guest room. Maroon red and classic.

I think these few days, their hands keep getting dirty. And the queue at the sink is getting longer. That would explain the longER and heaviER rains.

Hahaha. Imagine if I was somebody in some primitive mud-house civilization. I would have become chief priestess with that theory of mine!

Then.. I would make chocolate the holy drink, and holy sweet. Beansprouts, spring onions, parleys, all other yucky vegetables and yucky innards will be forbidden food. For they are unholy. Haha.

All bow in the presence of Grand Priestess Le Hia!!

Happy!!

Tong Hai came today!! Hehe.. He totally made me so happy. It's honestly a miracle, that just two lines from him can cheer me up entirely. For the many things I thank God for, he is one of my top few.

I thank God for my mother, for the person I love most, and giving me more love than anyone else in the world.

I thank God for the power of three, for seeing me through all times, and giving me strength to carry on.

I thank God for Tong Hai, for keeping my spirits high and mighty, and making all problems just another drizzle in the wind.

I thank God for my dearest papaya and watermelon, for giving me ground to stand, and wind to sail my ships.

I thank God for X Men, for endless support and infinite encouragement for whatever baton I choose to receive.

I thank God for Joy, Joyce and Minghui, for cups to pour my feelings into, and for filling me from their pitchers.

I thank God for restoring my faith in love and hope, and for another person to bring this stray lamb home.

I thank God for my life. That for every trial and tribulation, I shall learn something from it. That from every fall and challenge, I shall grow in my heart and soul. That for every tear I shed, I shall laugh a thousand times.

I thank God for the people who make these happen.

I thank God for Christ who made these happen.

I thank you Lord.

In the name of Christ the Lord I pray,

Amen.

你弄得我好累好累。。 Please tell me what I should do.

My thoughts now:

Grumble grumble

My ankle is getting worse.. Now I have something to distract me from my back. Dammit.

Nostalgia

Occasionally, on my playlist, JJ's songs from his latest album Cao Cao will play. Somehow, it will always immediately bring me back to the times just before I entered Swiss. The period after I collected my A level results. The time when I kept asking "What happened?"

Psychology calls it state-dependent learning or in a broader sense, encoding specificity. English has a different word for it: nostalgia. Everytime I listen to the songs, I certainly feel the whole surge of nostalgia. Wave after wave of it.

I don't know why I still refer it to nostalgia though. Since it's supposed to reminicse happy times.. I felt sadness. And I can still remember how heartbroken I was, and tear after tear that would not stop.

The memories are still so vivid. "What happened?"

Another week

Another week passes.. Should I go home? I don't know.. I only know I don't want to. help

This world is not what it seems

still water surging current
crouching tiger hidden dragon
candle light cloaked in darkness
urban city strange wilderness
three glasses of champagne twenty pints
raging water gentle rinse
calming silence deafening ears
spilt second two hundred years
tiny ant humungous strength
one centimeter infinite length
light as a feather enormous mass
rising sun set in the west
endless flow punctuated
bickering couples infatuated
empty glass filled to the brim
this world is not what it seems

My Home

Mirabelle changed her tuition (again) to Sunday (irritating!) and I made the last minute decision to stay over at home tonight instead. At 5 o' clock, I suddenly had the urge to see my mother. Albeit fuelled by flashes of someone asking me "Wouldn't my parents miss me?". I was in the middle of a webcast. But I wanted to see my mother.

That's enough. I stopped the webcast, packed up my stuff and headed home. Throughout the journey, I kept counting down the distance towards my home. Three more stops, two more stops, a few more blocks, one more block. Home.

Mum cooked my favourite xiao bai cai as I asked her to. And included a special vegetable tom yam Korean style. Dinner was fantastic. She was chatty as usual. Talking about what she bought, what my dad complained about what she bought, how she searched behind-the-scenes footages on YouTube of one of her favourite dramas, about the horrible attitude of my brother, about how my dad nearly hit her two weeks ago.

I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't know.

I came home last week and wanted really badly to indulge myself in my own fantasy world before I throw all fun into the air and started studying. You came in and I KNOW that you wanted to talk to me, as you always do, but I badly wanted to daydream. I KNOW you wanted to watch the show with me, and all the nice parts we both liked, but your presence made me conscious I was in reality.

I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't know.

I asked you to keep quiet and not talk so that I can continue in my fantasy world. You repeated twice that "Ok. I will not talk!" and you gave me a look that you will really try not to talk no matter how hard it would be. Just for me.

I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't know.

I find it harder and harder to come home every week. Consciously, because I love hall, and I have too many things there to stay home for too long a period of time. Subconsciously, because I didn't want to.

Mummy, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I find it easier to escape all these. I'm sorry that I chose the easier route. I'm sorry I cannot do anything. I'm sorry I cannot side you, because it will only make it harder for you to live with them. I'm sorry that I cannot help you, because you are the only one who can help yourself.

Ma, I'm sorry.

I love you and you remain the person I love most up till today. But if I'm only going to come home and listen to these stories.. Ma, I don't know how I'm going to come home.. Lihao complains to me as well. Papa doesn't. But things are very obvious when he gives me too much attention.

I ever thought of it. That maybe all these won't happen if I'm home more often. But I know they still will. I've seen it happen before I moved out. Lihao's complains are definitely not going to stop. And the quarrels between you and Papa late at night.. I wasn't asleep.

Mummy, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I don't have the courage to watch more cracks appear at home. I'm sorry I don't dare to face the time when you or Papa finally give up. I'm sorry I still love you too much. I'm sorry I still have so much hopes for this home.

Mummy, I'm so sorry..

Before and After

I was so cute wasn't I? Darn! What happened..

Gender Studies mid-sem lecture

If you guys think that NS was a terror, wait till you have cramps. Field camp is torturous, disgusting and primitive. I think cramps are torturous, disgusting and primitive too.

It's painful, you can't really stand up straight, and you have to act like the world is still a happy place. Hence it is torturous.

It's squishy, slimy, wet, cold if there's no skin contact for like one second, and you still need to walk as though there's nothing dripping out of you. Hence disgusting.

And it's been around since humans are offcially evolved as humans. So primitive.

BUT the difference is that we have it for a lifetime, save for 15 years, and you big, macho guys have it for TWO years. And decreasing. CAN YOU IMAGINE IT?! Girls go through a week of field camp every month for their lifetimes minus 15 years!!

Dammit. I hate cramps. Period.

Haiz

I must seem pretty mild nowadays.. Another friend commented that I "sounded really angry on my blog". And that what I said about Chris can be "quite disturbing".

I am/was. But with who, I don't know. I would like to think that I'm angry with Chris for being so dead rigid, and not listening that she's stifling herself in.. herself. But I think I might really be angry with myself. For not being able to accept Chris for who she is.

Girl, can you tell me what I should do? How was it that we were true friends in the past, yet reduced to mere acquaintances now? Did you change? Or did I? Or is this an inevitable road that we must both take?

What happened? That I now think that you are a person I should not have known deeeper? I am lost.. Help me.

Haha. Haiyo...

Just now, a friend called me. He asked about the Christina mentioned in the previous post. Haha. I wanted to add a postscript below the entry, but decided in the end that it'll destroy the effect.

For clarification's sake, Christina is someone I knew from NJ. Not any Christina I only knew in uni. It's kind of a common/not common name, since it's English. But no no, not any Christina I know from uni onwards only.

The one mentioned was someone I knew since J1. Different.

You make me despise you

The other day, I had the first session of RP. (Which reminds me, I'd better go check for new experiments soon.) And due to some administration cock-up, we were suddenly left with no space to sit, and a huge stack of questions to answer.

So, being the bai ka with the sleeveless tops, I chose to sit at a bench along one of the corridors. Coincidentally, it just happened to be near the admin block, and guess who walked by? Christina.

Honestly girl, it was quite ok seeing you. Although I was kinda startled, because I pretty much haven't seen people I previously know until you came by. UNTIL you said "Hey, what are you mugging?"

DAMN YOU WOMAN! I DON'T MUG!! I've been hating it when you use that word since NJ you know. Worse was during those teaching days. When we are marking, and YOU CHEER AND GO "YAY! MUGGING SESSION!" What are you? A moron?

Mugging is what YOU do. I STUDY. There's a difference. Mugging is what people like you do to get good grades. Studying is what people do, to LEARN. Why are you degrading yourself and the good name of education by mindlessly studying?

You make me despise you. You honestly do.