Papaya's induction

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Freak. I'm not touching chicken rice again for the next 3 years. Nearly fainted when I stepped on the weighing scale just now.

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Hahaha. Papaya has been inducted! Finally coaxed him into a bar where we started probing. We chose Table 108 in Chijmes cos Papaya and I were both dressed rather sloppily, and according to Watermelon, Chijmes "is damn relac one".

As the night went on and the alcohol took effect, more and more of Papaya's secrets, fantasies and hidden crushes came out. It was a good thing we chose to start with 3 people instead 1 on 1. Like he admitted himself, he is like a shell, very difficult to enter.

He said something that quite jolted me. "If I really have a girlfriend, I'll really 珍惜 her." For that one moment, there was nothing more in the world I wanted than to be his girlfriend. I know he will, and the girl will truly be loved.

We also concluded that Jun Zhan didn't have to be bothered with knowing many girls for a shot at probability. When he finds the girl with the same frequency as him, he would have found the love of his life, and be contented with living in bliss forever.

The drinking session also revealed Chee Fung's high regard for Jun Zhan. Not many can see what Jun Zhan is like. Even Tong Hai doesn't think much of him (stupid, naive stick-in-the-mud). Even I get clouded by social norms at times. But Chee Fung just saw Jun Zhan for who he was, regardless of what others thought. So amazing what friendship can do sometimes :)

The two of them also started asking each other to rate the girl the other liked now on a scale of 1 to 10. Using me (!) as a benchmark at 5. Stupid boys..

It was really funny too when I asked Chee Fung if he had, in any point of time, liked me even for a little bit. Jun Zhan immediately stood up and volunteered himself for the toilet. I think that helped cos when Jun Zhan left, the answers came rolling out. Or maybe the alcohol was finally working.

And we finally took group photos! The three of us. And (surprise, surprise) Chee Fung was the one holding the camera. A change that Jun Zhan attributes to age.

Hahaha. It was a good night alright. Doing the things we used to do, and doing new stuff we never did. Now Papaya's hooked as well. He began figuring out how to have another drinking session without burning our pockets in the cab ride home.

And I need to figure out how to spend my remaining frames so that I can send the roll for developing quickly.

Looks can be deceiving

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My new favourite song: Rockstar by Nickelback

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Do I look 21 to you?

The brilliance of Roberto Goizueta

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The fastest way to losing weight is falling sick.

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I came to know of this essay that my lecturer gave out as part of the course. It has become a legend in its own right, and was also published in Coca Cola's 1997 annual report. The author was the late Roberto Goizueta himself, the title, "Why Share-Owner Value?"

"...Not long ago, we came up with an interesting set of facts: A billion hours ago, human life appeared on Earth. A billion minutes ago, Christianity emerged. A billion seconds ago, the Beatles changed music forever. A billion Coca-Colas ago was yesterday morning.

The question we ask ourselves now is: What must we do to make a billion Coca-Colas ago be this morning? By asking that question, we discipline ourselves to the long-term view.

Ultimately, the mission of this Atlanta soft-drink salesman - and my 26,000 associates - is not simply to sell an extra case of Coca-Cola. Our mission is to create value over the long haul for the owners of our Company..."

This guy's a genius! His essay has risen to the level of Lincoln's Gettysburg address in my list of favourite works.

Anyone has his biography?

In love

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Thanks Japheth for saying what you said :)

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I am in love. With this invisible lover. He is tall (1.77m), handsome and strong. Absolutely intelligent with an innate ability to charm my socks off. He has girls falling at his feet, but eyes only for me. We flirt shamelessly with other people but never worry about our feelings for each other. We share a penthouse in Orchard, immaculately designed by our perfect tastes. Everyone is envious of us, of me actually, for having caught the heart of such a perfect man. He is gentle, he is sweet and he makes my heart thump everytime I look at him.

I am in love, with Love himself.

Kuriya @ Great World

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I keep wanting to kiss my shoulders! why??

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My mum's birthday dinner today, and my little brother chose Kuriya at Great World City after an hour plus of research on the net.

I woke up groggily at 5 and trudged to my room, flung open my cupboard and looked for something I haven't worn in a while. I chose the off-shoulder top I got from Hong Kong and matched it with a skirt.

When I stepped into the restaurant, I was so damn bloody glad I chose that top la. (Ok, maybe I should have guessed since it was dear brother who chose that place)

Pretty lights at Kuriya, Great World

That place is so classy and atas, even the toilet bowl cleans your butt for you. And it comes with toilet seat warming, which I initially mistook for the previous user's residual body heat.

Food was excellent, despite the disposable chopsticks. Must tries include the tuna belly, sea urchin and sea bream sashimis, grilled beef with miso, homemade tofu and eel with cream cheese sushi. You'll be complaining that dinner is too fast, too.

My appetiser: Homemade tofu


Brother's appetiser: Potato Salad with Spicy Cod Roe


My dessert: Monaka Ice Cream with Red Bean

Brother's dessert: Raspberry Chocolate Mousse Cake and Vanilla Ice Cream aka Dessert of the Day

Not surprisingly, such a feast calls for deep pockets. The entire dinner cost my dad $360 (rounded up). But hey, good food, correct occasion, why not?

p/s If you were at Kuriya Great World on 15 August 2008, Friday, from 7 to 10 pm, and find yourself coughing and sniffing, don't panic. It's just the common flu from yours sincerely :)

Leave them alone

I have rather disparate groups of friends. They don't mix with each other, and I behave differently with each of them. Which is something I believe is their right, cos everyone and the synergies amongst them are different. So it's only fair that I do not upset things by insisting on treating friendships with a cookie cutter.

Sometimes when two different groups of friends mix, friction result. And I get caught in the middle.

I never wanted Tonghai to come to Block C. He is wrong for the block. For Sheares even. But Murphy had his way and now he is a sore point I am trying reaaaaaally hard to ignore. The whole fiasco between the two of us as yet unsettled.

I don't really want the block guys to meet Chee Fung and Jun Zhan either. Particularly those two block guys. I guess when a person become conscious of their looks and aware of what works for them, they become confident. Maybe over-confident. Everyone in sight is rated on a scale and disapproving looks are dispensed generously to those who don't make the cut.

I'm not in favour of such judgements (despite being such a person eons ago) because it was these same judgements that sent me plunging down into darkness not too long ago.

I will not be foolish and claim that Chee Fung and Jun Zhan are handsome lads. They are not, but so what? They have charismas that bowl me over everytime I'm with them.

That time when they made those remarks, I was insulted. I still am.

How could they just brush off a person's personality just by looking at him?? I have known them for 4 years. They have seen the worst of me but never left my side. I have seen how they've grown and changed throughout this 4 years and I have never once felt any less affection for them. How could the value of my company be decided just by how they look??

Ok la, I might be a total slut now. But my friends will be my friends will be my friends. Attack me, but leave them alone.

p/s Just a little note here.. I'm not actually angry with anyone. I just feel indignant for these two best friends of mine, and kinda needed to voice it out.

Life as a game

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I just spent 1639 shopping for a sixth module. I'm no longer dabbling in sixth modules. Too high risk.

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When love is a game, who are you up against? It's a simple machine with simple rules. The human mind makes it complex. You throw a part of yourself into the coin slot, staking happiness and other petty gains in the name of desire.

The rules demand only that once the player takes the seat, he cannot rise till the game is over. Curiosity killed the cat, for the cat took the seat, and now he can't get up. The cat fell for the taunt, even though it was a losing game right from the start.

Prudence asks me to end it before the consequences are greater than I can bear. Irrationality is driving me elsewhere.

How I wish I had not picked this machine..

我的坏习惯

我有个坏习惯。 一旦事情有变化时，我总是毫不犹豫地把它打发走。误以为是潇洒，其实只不过是逃避。

这次的‘冷战’显示了我们之间的差异，也显示了你对我的重要性。

回想起来，之前数次的幻想你遭到不遇的时候，我会怎么办。现在仔细想想，原来没有你，我是多么的无助。

我可能低估了我对你的感情，也低估了你对我的重要。

那天看到你同时坚强又脆弱的眼神和那个被泪水洗过的脸，我心痛了。突然间，冷战变得好幼稚，朋友的话成了怂恿。我，变得好愚蠢。

我脑里一片空白，心里一团糟。求求你告诉我，我们之间的矛盾，我该如何是好。

Night out with watermelon

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Chee Fung says:

worst nightmare of a mugger!!!
[ims0708][C-Towner] »:£®§+_€ØûÐ~:«boing~ says:
WHAT
Chee Fung says:
tot i couldn't log into ivle
haha

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Went out with Watermelon right after Joyceh's surprise party at Macs. We were supposed to go to the Ben 'n Jerry's at The Grand Cathay to listen to a live band, but (really unluckily) bumped into my ex-boyfriend there. That was fine actually, since ex-boyfriend was leaving. But the band happened to be taking a break, and Jun Zhan suggested going to a jazz pub.

Since I lost the mood for music and ice cream already (it's the second ex-boyfriend I bumped into already la. Singapore can be so small if you don't want it to), might as well try out the pub.

I managed to get a treat out of him on our way there for 1. failing to find our way in 12 minutes, and 2. walking around lost for another 25 minutes.

We both got Sex on the Beach, cos I thought I remembered it tasting nice the last time I tried it at Timbre. Today, I found out that having sex on the beach tastes like cough syrup. Those people must be sick to have sex on the beach.

Alcohol can be an amazing drink really.

JZ: Xxxx Xxxx..

Me: What about her?

JZ: She can be abit touchy...

Me: Like how touchy?

JZ: The hands, the shoulders..

Me: Am I touchy?

JZ: Today, you are.

Me: Sorry baby, it's the alcohol.


JZ: Can you not blink like that?
Me: Oops. Was I sending out electricity?
JZ: *nods head


Time passed really quickly too. We met at 9 going 10. The next time we did a time check, it was 1.30 am.

If I'm gonna carry on doing this, I'll really have to stock up on instant noodles and soup. Alcohol always makes me hungry for some incredulous reason.

Next stop. Papaya's induction. (With friends like these, who needs dates??)

The place we went; Bar Stop

My first date with Papaya!

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Someone told me today that I sure want to go back to hall after going for SWOC, cos I am that kind who just can't leave hall. Crapz. Everyone knew it but me.

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Wooohoooo!! Just got back from my first date with Papaya and I am damn. high. la. Hehehehehe.

We had dinner at this Japanese restaurant in Suntec. Tonkinchi, I think. The food wasn't bad, honestly. Worthy of the price.

My order

Papaya's order

Then we decided to do a bit of recce-ing around the Esplanade area for the upcoming fireworks festival. As luck would have it, the drizzle intensified while we were taking a peak at the floating stadium and we detoured into the Esplanade instead.

There, we saw the most amazing a cappella performance ever. The group was called the Harvard Dins, from the Harvard University in USA, and they are soooo cool la!

Their voices are amazing, their songs are so friggin' cool, and their choreography was sooo entertaining. The entire performance was just. Wow.

The (shining) Harvard Dins!

I was so high the entire train ride back that Papaya had to pacify me with promises of outings in the next two weeks to come.

Too bad Watermelon couldn't make it. Or else I could have my late night out before school started. Jun Zhan! It's all your fault! Your pants too long. Hehehe hahaha.

My ridiculous wishes

1. I want to move out of home
2. I want my own place
3. I don't want my family to know about my place or come in and out of it as they please
4. I want to move back to hall (It nicely fulfill the above three wants)
5. I want a boyfriend to hug and hold me
6. I want a relationship where both sides flirt but never have to worry about our feelings for each other
7. I want a relationship where I don't have to commit
8. I want to date
9. I want to break hearts
10. I want my own daughter
11. I don't want to get married
12. I want to be a single mother
13. I want to migrate
14. I want my own place in a city penthouse
15. I want my %$#!@ white spots to disappear
16. I want to know why my weight shot up
17. I want to shop
18. I want to run awaaaaay!
19. I want to disappear
20. I want all my wishes to come true

Hall.......

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A pastor told me yesterday that my greatest temptation would be a non-Christian boyfriend. I have a feeling that I may be facing my biggest rejection soon. Father, please tell me you have a really awesome guy for me up your sleeves...

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I. Miss. Hall. Suddenly all the push and pull factors that were there when I was in year one come flooding back. I remembered why I wanted to run away, why I didn't want to go home, why hall seemed like such a beautiful place.

Urgh. I want to go back.

My brother and me

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Whoa. I'm really itching for a late night out.. Papaya, Watermelon where are you????

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Brother: I dress nicer for school than you do for work.
Me: I dress for work like how I dress for school.
Brother: I dress nicer for school than you do for school.
Me: ... I need new clothes.


Brother: The neighbour's boy is damn cute la
Me: Kids like these make you want to get married and have your own.
Me: Then I look at our parents. Forget it.
Me: We should all just have kids without getting married.


Sometimes, I look at my parents, and I look at my brother. I never understood how he could turn out as good as he is. I look at myself, and then at my parents, I can pretty much tell where I come from. But my brother feels like he's from a different family.

And honestly, he got more crap than me growing up. I only had to deal with unreasonable expectations. His was BIG shit. Tempers, peer pressure, menopause, esteem attacks... The only thing he had lesser than me was expectations. And the role of the eldest child la.

How did I end up so screwed?

Flat stomach!

Woot. I finally saw my flat stomach again :D

I can get used to this. :D:D:D

My Evergreen Status

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I've got a horribly screwed up system. I can't seem to eat (dinner last night was three stems of vegetables, 2 or 3 pieces of tofu, a spoonful of meat and two mouths of soup), I got the second major giddy spell in three days, and my fingers won't stop trembling.

Thank goodness my body clock is still normal.

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I was chatting with a friend when he asked me a question about relationships and I suddenly got, in my opinion, a very wise insight.

I was telling him about my inability to commit and be stable enough to be in a relationship. Then he said that when I'm ready, there might not be guys around for me to pick.

I told him that was part 2 of the problem. I had to solve part 1 first. So he asked me how may parts did I think there were.

And then I gained that insight.

I think
There are three areas to resolve for every relationship. The first being us as a person, the second being our partner and our compatibility in terms of character and beliefs. Lastly, would of course be the ongoing relationship itself, and how each of us could still be our individual selves despite being attached.

Years ago, the onset of puberty and ensuing rush of hormones ensured the absence of the first two aspects. I soon lost my individual identity, and my friends. (Being separated into different classes was also a factor).

Sometime later, I learnt about problem no. 2. Residual hormones from puberty sucessfully concealed a very jarring problem no. 1. Passion lasted like an A-bomb detonating in water.

I no longer insensibly think I'm ready for relationships and commitment. Love immortalized by Hollywood is slowly being peeled away. An ugly core remains.

It's honestly nice having a boyfriend to take care of you, have a hand to hold, send a tingle down your spine everytime you kiss.. But beyond the intimacy and making out, what's next? Sharing your problems, listening to his, talking about your day, and sms-ing "I love you"?

Hm. No, thanks. I'm not so into that.

Hi, I live in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Friggin cool. That's the name of a real town in WALES. I originally thought it was an aboriginal or tribal name from Africa or somewhere else exotic. But no. It's a town in Wales of the United Kingdom.

"The long form of the name is the longest officially recognised place name in the United Kingdom and one of the longest in the world, being 58 letters in length (51 letters in the Welsh alphabet, where "ch" and "ll" count as single letters). The name is Welsh for "St Mary's church in the hollow of the white hazel near to the rapid whirlpool and the church of St Tysilio of the red cave"."

Source is located at this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Fastest date ever

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My brother just picked up a hobby of examining my Mammut. Every single piece of it.

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Today holds the record for the fastest date ever. But I couldn't ask for it to be any longer.

It was meet up, check out the movies, food, home.

I have never been so afraid of someone asking me to be his girlfriend. Ever.

We actually knew each other since sec 3, and through some strange reason or another, we became msn best friends. That was probably the only time I truly enjoyed our conversations. But we couldn't be together. Oh, we were both separately attached.

I actually prepared a rejection speech for him when I thought he was getting just a little too sweet in sec 4. But I never got to use it cos he only confessed when I was in J1. Idiot.

He was really nice on my nineteenth birthday. Reminded me of my birthday (which I honestly forgot about) one week earlier, asked me out, gave me a bouquet of blue roses (my favourite flowers), and a cute little bracelet.

At the same time, he was dating another girl from his school which he happily showed on his msn display. Could just die of diabetes with platonic friends like these.

And now. His hints no longer belong to the subtle/neutral category, he is getting a little over-enthusiastic/friendly and he is so very single. Shit.

My little rejection speech is entirely irrelevant, I've got no boyfriend at my disposal, and I have no blardy idea what to tell him.

Talk about a sticky situation.

My dream home

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The world boings when boing boing stops.

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I stepped into my room on Thursday and was hit by a blanket of rose scent in the air. I instantly knew what my dream home will be like in the (coming) future.

The decor will be clean and solid, with white as the main colour. The occasional green from apples or a lily in a vase made of glass.

Windows will run from floor to ceiling with white translucent drapes to match.

Apartment will be high above the crowds, revealing only the silent city below with the occasional sigh of tires when I step out of the house.

I'll have a massage chair in my study to soothe my aching back, and rows and rows of books shall line the shelves as a memory to my acquaintance with their authors.

Lights will only be yellow, as I love looking into windows with yellow lights peeking out from behind curtains.

A constant veil of roses will float in the air from the potpurri or real roses scattered around the house. My house will be a place I step in and fall in love, and feel peace. (A bit of irony there, I know)

Obviously no husband will be around to destroy the serenity.

Boing~!

Some of the people around me might have known, more than they were comfortable with, my boing boing phase. Inspired by the Sony (I think) mp3 player advertisement, I got quite intrigued by sounds. This is a post I've been wanting to write for a long time. Too bad I'm not a famous blogger, or I'd have given out prizes for anyone who can correctly decipher what I'm saying.

Boing boing.
Tick tock tick tock boing boing.
Ticktickticktick tock BOING.
Tick tock tick tock. Boing. Boing
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. boingboingboingboingboing.
Tic-k toc-k tic-k toc-k tic-k toc-k BOING!
tick tock boing...

Him

I sat down at one of the front rows with my friends chatting noisily away. Sometime later I heard a familiar voice behind. I turned around and my heart skipped a beat.

I was dressed in my sloppiest hall wear, slinging a heavy bag, having just reached school from home with no time to stop by hall for a change of clothes. I saw him walking towards me. His mannerisms were as I remembered. He didn't, or pretended he didn't, see me. My heart skipped a beat.

I made a decision to start talking to him again. Tried finding him on msn, then realised I didn't know if the email account was still active. Typed his name on Yahoo and got no results. Searched facebook, and saw his boyish looks staring back at me. My heart skipped a beat.

It has been six years.