Charlene called during when I was giving tuition today. She told me she'll be going to NTU. That she did not get accepted into the double degree program. That she won't be staying with me in NUS hostel.
Suddenly, I feel so disheartened. P3 to P4, P6 to Sec 1, Sec 4 to J1 and now, J2 to uni, I fight my way in with a single sword and an open heart. I'm alone again. I look at all my friends, every single one I want to see again, head for NTU. Just like in JC. I see all those around me, everyone have their phone bills covered, and enough pocket money for lunch.
But when I look again with my eyes opened, I see Jen Yuh. She went to New Zealand, knowing not a single soul. She went on to university knowing not one person who will go with her. Her close mates move on to different universities and different CITIES. Here, they are still in the western part of Singapore.
I should feel lucky right? Yes I should. But I'm not now. Never mind. It's ok. I know myself. It may seem bleak now, but I'll rise to the top quickly again, as I did my whole life. And this time, I will find strength. Strength from Jen Yuh.
Thank you Auntie.
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