My Library of Orgasmic Books

More will come.

Oh. Dear me.

Reported in the Straits Times on 12 April 2011:

The events in Japan are unlikely to have a major impact on Singapore's economy this year... Likewise, while the events in the Arab world have led to a spike in oil prices recently, the overall impact on world economic growth is likely to be small...

...Moreover, some members of ... OPEC ... have made commitments to increase oil production ... As such ... the impact has been small...

... There are also signs the recovery in the advanced economies in gaining momentum, as indicated by recent improvements in the US labour market.

So is this to say that our world is not affected by monster natural disasters and spreading uprisings against governments, but the decisions of an oil cartel and a few Americans having jobs, or no jobs?????

A random bus journey

Yesterday when I was on the bus, I heard a man on the seat behind me answer a call. He responded calmly, occasionally acknowledging what was spoken from the other side of the line. Then he repeated what he heard to confirm his understanding of the news. He said "So ok, if she falls into a coma, you will not resuscitate her is it?"

My ears pricked up.

He continued to speak in the polite and understanding tone from the beginning of the conversation and maintained his voice when he said "Just one more question, why do you think that ICU is not good for her? ... This is quite a hard fact for me, you know." At the end of the phone call, he, again in his ever polite and pleasant tone, said "Ok thank you."

When I got off the bus, I stole a glance at the man who sat right behind me. His head was interspersed with strands of grey hair, and his face showed no sign of the distress he was under.

I alighted feeling I just shared a bus with a person made of courage.

The New Republic

I hereby announce the establishment of a New Republic.

In this New Republic, all adult citizens receive monthly allowances from the government, instead of salaries from their employment.

Labour costs for the businesses and corporations would be in the form of labour taxes and medical reimbursements.

Business owners and private investors would still receive income from their private investments and proprietorships or partnerships.

The mandate of this New Republic centers on healthy lifestyles and stress-free living. People go to work because they know it is good for them, to keep their minds working and bodies active. The atmosphere builds on encouragement and forgiveness, and people strive to surpass themselves and build a country that prides in its strong work ethics.

The allowances rise with a person's seniority in a company, but never fall below a comfortable level even when a person is unemployed.

Emphasis is put on a person's achievement and reputation, with the education system teaching children to take after role models featured in the newspapers. Lifelong learning is a common passion, and children are taught from young the possibilities in their hands from matters as trivial as their love for video games.

Oh what a wonderful world that is!

Singapore society

Today I learnt that

- my mum's friend's sister is SR Nathan's neighbour

- my mum's friend and husband are close friends with Lee Hsien Loong, and their kids used to play together when they were young

- each kid had one bodyguard and the whole group had another one or two more bodyguards

- Ong Teng Cheong is somehow related to Lee Kwan Yew who is somehow related to Wee Kim Wee through a series of marriages, re-marriages, cousins multiple times removes and just pure blood relations

- my mum's friend is the personal assistant of Steven Riady, and she personally met his father Mochtar Riady when she was my age

- the psychologist Danny Ng who came to guest speak at NJC once at a talk I supposedly hosted was my mother's close friend. He calls her Da Jie.

- my mother's friend's neighbour is famous lawyer Subhas Anandan

Hehe I suddenly feel so close to the upper echelons of the Singapore society.

The Internet empowers the young. For the better?

This opinion is inspired by the wave of protests across North Africa and Middle East, and a spot of it in China.

What these countries have in common are extremely popular social networking sites among young people, and a lot of unemployment or hardships in those age bands.

With the speed of technological advances nowadays, the penetration of the Internet into our lives, and the open online environment, do you think it's possible that technology shifts power into the hands of the young (and away from the old)?

I feel that the youngest generations will always be the ones most adept at the newest internet/IT technologies, simply because such technologies enter their lives earlier than everyone else and smaller, faster, better becomes integrated into their worldview before their worldviews are fixed.

And these technologies vest in them a method of communication apart and away from the older generations who are used to and more comfortable with technologies part of their older worldviews. That is, those technologies that came in earlier in their lives. Like for most of us, Friendster was a huge thing, then came Facebook and then Twitter. But for kids in secondary school now, Friendster is an urban myth, while Facebook and Twitter are two essentials in their communication mix. And their activity on Facebook and Twitter are different in styles from our activity on Facebook and Twitter.

And because these technologies are so connected, it is easy to form a certain wavelength amongst these younger users that do not resonate with older users. So when the vast majority of younger users are affected by similar experiences, their voices and complaints reverberate very quickly among the young, while the effect is greatly dampened among the older ones.

But is this a good phenomenon? Sure it gives a voice to the those repressed, and an alternative media for the young and powerless. But the characteristics of these people also mean that they are inexperienced, less mature and are more attuned with the effects of stuff rather than the causes.

And they are so dispersed! When it comes to arrow pointing and directed action, who do people turn to? The owners of traditional media and power, because these people are concentrated and identifiable, when trouble in fact brews from another source. So what happens is that peace only comes when the people in power cede to the requests of the protestors.

All is well and good if the final results are increased prosperity for all. But I'm not certain if change brought this way is at all better, even for the very people who demanded the change in the first place, given the higher likelihood of their immaturity and inexperience. Like I do not see how sensible people would rape a foreign journalist while celebrating the victory of their cause. What the hell.

Then what happens when the older generations need change? How do they counter the scattered and ubiquitous voices of the young when they have no accessible communication technology more effective than the younger generation? We face the possibilities of a new neglected class.

They raped in celebration

What the hell. I will never, ever understand these people. Savages!

ps. I know it's a bit late. But still, the wave of protests has not ended.

English hates all things good

I distinctively remember when I was a kid, and I was trying to tell my dad that something smelt nice, all I could muster out of my limited vocabulary was "nice smell". But if I were to say it stunk, I had a lot of words for it. Smelly, yucky, gross. And they came to mind fast enough. Dad later taught me the opposite of smelly was fragrant. In my young mind, I thought "What a difficult word that was!"

And then I realised that opposite of good is bad, and the opposite of naughty is... hm. good? Come primary five, my teacher taught us the word amiable. I had absolutely no idea what it meant, but she said it meant something good. And then there were more words like amicable, affable, benign, cordial that popped up sometime in my life or other, all of which, essentially meant nice. Kind, as well.

However, the opposites of kind and nice were already etched earlier in my mind. Really because, these words were shorter, catchier and simply easier to remember; mean, stingy, evil, selfish, ugly, hehe.. bad!

And truth be told, saying "I don't like you" was always easier than "I like you". You get to add more expression for the former too.

Therefore, after 23 years of speaking English, I give the grand conclusion that *pause* the English language *pause* prefers *pause* the lousier side of man *ta-dah!*.

2 minutes in my wondrous mind

Do I need to check on my smurfs?

Oh, no need. Tomatoes take 8 hours.

8 hours is such a long time, no wonder people complain of working long hours.

Can I not work? Can I be in the business of buying?

I'll have to wear heels to look professional.

Unless I go to the beach.

If someone sees me in flats at the beach, that person will comment that I'm not wearing heels.

I'll reply that I'm not forever in heels.

Like that lady in the show. When people hear the sound of her heels, they all quiver with fear.

And there's her love interest, the policeman.

Who has a bad boss, who turned good in the end.

It's such an amazing show isn't it? We all hated him when he was bad, but pitied him when he turned good.

He died trying to assassinate the Japanese colonel.

Because the Japanese killed his wife and unborn child.

That's how iron fisted (?) governments act when they are threatened by attacking forces right? They kill off all prisoners hastily.

Like how the Khmer Rouge did it at Tuol Sleng when the Vietnamese attacked Cambodia; they hastily killed 9 VIP prisoners by cutting their throats.

War. Japanese Occupation. Singapore.

Our war hero, Lim Bo Seng.

Oh, did you know my mother's boss is Lim Bo Seng's nephew?

Why Cambodia would want to remain poor

This time back to Cambodia, I saw a lot more. Maybe because I could, maybe because I bothered to. As we were travelling down a wide road back to the hotel, he told us that the road was given by the Americans, but the Cambodian government built a toll station across it and used it to collect money. And then later on, he showed us a police officer letting a person go after collecting a small administration fee. Earlier in the day we rode pass the prime minister's house. What a magnificent house it was! Two huge houses side by side, with a one-story high chandelier in plain sight. The kind that even a house owner on Bukit Timah would clamour to have.

Doesn't it make sense now that Cambodia would want to remain poor?

As long as they suppress the progress of their country, foreign aid would keep pouring in. As long as they remain a third-world country, the country's infrastructure would be built by international coffers. In other words, as long as Cambodia remains poor, the country would continue to be developed by other countries, while the government gets to fill their pockets from taxes the development projects provide, and they get to protect their own reserves for their own luxuries! That's killing an entire flock of birds with 1 stone. Amazing, isn't it?

This corrupted government must be removed.

Speak Good England

The Speak Good English campaign should first work on getting their Singlish right. Their negative examples demonstrate their poor Singlish over their superior English. It is a joke conjured in a meeting room, declared in posters, and spoken by no one.

I see and I remember

December has been a tumultous month, pretty much because of Eggy and that it began smack in the middle of the month. I saw a lot of things, and I remember a lot of stuff. And so, this post is titled "I see and I remember".

I saw Mum's behaving her usual when with Dad's side of the family.
I saw Aunty Doreen and Uncle Roger handling the finances as usual.
I saw everyone's eyes light up when I introduced Alvin as my boyfriend.
I saw the brothers brave the stress that were heavy upon them.
I saw the New Zealand High Commissioner attending and contributing, and making a speech to my cousin he has never met.
I saw a message written by a Little Gal. A-ha, Eggy is a naughty boy.
I saw Eggy make headlines on all the newspapers left right centre.
I saw A-gou holding back her tears everytime someone gives her a hug.
I saw Yongzheng giving me a blank look as he identified me as his niece.
I saw Yongwen making it the best for Eggy as he fights off the demands from everyone possible.

and I remember.

I remember playing hide and seek in Mama's house.
I remember finding Eggy in the toilet.
I remember Eggy telling me he was top in English and a class monitor.
I remember that magician that A-gou got to perform at Eggy's birthday.
I remember feeling confused when Eggy's classmates called him by his real name.
I remember the Eggy's and Li Yao's joint birthday party at MacDonald's.
I remember how Eggy and Li Yao were close like brothers.
I remember thinking I had to win Eggy because I was the best in the family.
I remember Eggy was the only of the four brothers who played hide and seek with us.
I remember his animated story of how he tried to kill a frog in the forests of Brunei.
I remember him trying to squash a bug then being stopped by his mother. "Eggy, don't do that. Smelly."
I remember him saying that "Even at the age of 21, my mother must control me."
I remember him coming over to play poker on the second day of CNY.
I remember how A-gou wasn't really happy that he was going out so late in the night.
I remember Eggy wearing his dark shades when he was swooping in for his win at poker.
I remember accidentally finding him turning in for the night at 9pm when Yongwen was showing me something, or I was trailing him around the house because I was bored.
I remember seeing the photos of Eggy and us, and not remembering at all how Eggy and Li Yao and Li Yan, and even my brother looked when we were all that young.
I remember thinking one CNY how Eggy and Li Yao and Li Yan have matured within that one year.
I remember how tall Eggy looked, but was actually shorter than Yongwen who is crooked.
I remember how Eggy wrote an assignment on different perspectives and scored a 9/10.
I remember Eggy and Yongwen sharing a private joke on that remaining 1/10.
I remember so many episodes of Eggy that this post will never justify.

I will remember Eggy as that confident, charismatic and charming cousin with the twinkle in his eye who, with his 3 other brothers, I have always looked up to. His laughter and jokes still ring in my head. His face, his smile, his build, his muscles are all still there, alive and moving.

Bye bye Eggy, I'll see you in heaven ok?

The meaning of tears

Yesterday Alvin called while I was just waking up at 11 plus in the morning. While talking on the phone I felt a sudden urge and burst into a waterfall of tears, telling him I missed him and wanted him by my side.

Last night at 2 am while having our goodnight call, I felt like crying again, and let the tears roll down across my nose bridge as I laid on my side.

Today at 6.35 pm my father texted to say that my cousin fell while mountain climbing and died. Time of death, 7am New Zealand time.

We have night markets too

Singaporean: What's nice to see and do in Taiwan?
Taiwanese: Oh you should totally visit our night markets. You can try out the ones at Shihlin, Raohe and Shi Da.
Singaporean: Cool. Singapore has night markets too. We call them pasar malam.
Taiwanese: Oh really? Where do I find them?
Singaporean: Err.. Maybe Ang Mo Kio? Or Tampinese?

他

第一次有机会望着他的背后，就在他的摩托车上，我感受到了莫名的温暖。
第一次惊慌地躲在他身后，看着远方一只狗狂吠，我找到了安全感。
第一次坐在蓄水池旁靠在他的肩膀，我认识了幸福。
第一次被他笑死三八，我知道了乐趣。

他，不小器，不自私，不计较，没心机。更不会像某些人做一些不可思议的离谱事，然后到处向外人装可怜。

他，很体贴，很细心，很护家，很有耐心。他清楚地让我知道我们将来的家是建立在爱的基础上，以幸福为墙壁，以欢乐为大门，以我们的名字共同于上帝骄傲地写下我们的门牌。

他是我的幸福，就如我是他的。

Dark Marketing

Promoting Autopsies:

Get an anatomy of yourself! Know where your organs are, and why you are dead! No charge, to you at least.

Burial spots:

Choose your neighbours for eternity! Offer lasts till the government starts exhumation.

X-Rays:

Get a photo of yourself stark naked! Like really, stark naked.

Amputation:

Where it's dead, let it go. You'll find yourself a new leg of life. Or arm of strength. Or whatever body part of hope.

Injections:

It.....! Screw it. Finding a painless alternative will be a better bet for all humanity.

Medicine:

They seldom work like you thought they would, but you are cured, right? phttt.

Operations:

We'll never know what's wrong till we look inside.

Husbands:

Just choose. Guaranteed at least minimal quality. No refunds allowed.

Haunted House:

Be the proud owner of the second old Changi General Hospital!

Fly on the wall

Me: Whoa! You are staying over the first day you meet parents
Him: You are no better lor...

Heh. Yeah hor.

I challenge you

Ladies, would you give up your pads for tampons?

Tell me what you think!

http://nusbschool.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_42Sk7FWKQ3OO4ao


Yeah la, it's for a school project la..

Thank you for coming into my life

He, is my shelter and my warm blanket. My anchor in the stormy seas, and the one God so beautifully brought into my life. Every time I recall the events that brought us that one important step closer, I can't help but smile and wink at God's ingenuity.

He reminds me of who I am when I say things that others would judge at face value. He never rushes, never pressures, never sees me for anymore than who and what I am. I don't have to even consider about how I look or what I wear, what I've done or who I was. He cares for me like how I thought love himself would do, but now there is an added sense of security.

He is genuine, and it shines in his eyes. He never despises, never judges, never pries, never minds. He is really, the prince from the fairy tale, the hero from the idol drama that I had always prayed for.

I ever did wonder if at anything at all, it was only to spite the nightmare I had only just come out from. That if I did not embrace this, then I would be letting myself down. But God somehow set my heart at peace in this. There is the familiar sense of rest and reassurance that can only be divine.

I know you read this, and you'll probably say there is no need to. Well, thank you for coming into my life, and being more than just a blessing :)

See you in Heaven, Mrs Lee

Mrs Lee makes her final journey today. As with many Singaporeans, I feel like I lost a role model, a teacher, an inspiration. She is who my mother taught every lady should aspire to be, and someone I have learnt to have a deep admiration for.

Beyond her intelligence and immense capabilities, I admire her for her humility and heart for others. I admire her for her steadfastness and devotion to her husband. Something I am not sure I can do myself.

And her husband has the same deep love for her, something I know most men can't do themselves.

Watching the tributes to her these few days, I can't help but feel proud that Singapore has such a fine daughter. It takes a lot for any person to have such achievements in their careers and family, but even more for one to hold it down as her husband shines.

I am deeply sentimental that she has left us, but prouder than I was of what she has accomplished by being the wonderful lady she was.