I'm going to attempt to write a really interesting, humourous, and illogical blog post. Inspired by Jane Berentson's "Miss Harper can do it". Awesome read. For chicks only.
Woke up this morning remembering that I had a huge craving for salad with vinegarette while trying to fall asleep the night before. So I clambered out of bed, washed up, and pulled open the bottom drawer of my house refrigerator.
Carrots.. And other eastern vegetables that couldn't be eaten raw.
Fine. Carrots and vinegarette then.
Splashed one teaspoon of rice vinegar and 3 teaspoon of soya sauce into a small bowl. Taste test. FAIL.
Snooped around again and found a new bottle of salsa.
30 minutes later. New bottle of salsa refuses to open. Fine. Whipped out ketchup bottle and mixed it with soya sauce-vinegar solution. Threw in the carrot sticks and started munching. Finished the carrot sticks and licked the bowl clean. Opened the fridge for a bottle of water and spotted... a half-finished jar of salsa deep in the recesses of the second shelf. FML.
Felt indignant about not eating said jar of salsa. Dug out butter crackers and helped myself to generous servings of salsa on butter crackers. Something about the lingering smell of roasted tomatoes on my fingers made me go back and opened a second pack of three butter crackers.
On hindsight, I think the salsa might have been drugged. As in, spiced with addictive drugs, drugged. Because the taste in my mouth tempted me to go back for more. So I made myself a cup of hm.. cocoa milk; milo plus milk.
And I fell into a deep sleep after that. Milo must have been drugged. Sleep-inducing drugged drugged.
Woke up feeling oh-so-stuffed. Felt my whole body supported and connected by the huge ball of my belly. I must be going through the oral stage of my menstrual cycle.
I'm trying to metamorphorise myself into a dim sum - too much meat, and too little skin - to explain my overstuffed feeling.
And that totally made me feel like going for yum cha.
Should I???
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