Reflections

I always thought I had very little. I always wanted more. I wanted more of everything. More pocket money, more shoes, more clothes, more snacks, more reserves, more resources.

I always felt I didn't enough. Yeah true, my pocket money is pathetic, but besides that, I always thought that everything I had was not quite there.

Even now in my "I want to.." list, I have quite a number of "I want to buy..." items.

Then today I realised.. I actually have a lot.

I realised that I have more love than I could ever want from my Abba Father, I have more love that I could ever wish from my family, I have more money than I need in my bank account, I have enough shoes for casual and formal wear at home and in hall, I have enough clothes to live one week at home and one week in hall, I have so many things that are way more than enough.

What was it about me that made me wanting more? What is it about me that made me realise I already have enough?

I guess that how people go. We never realise how much we have till we don't have.. I guess if all along I had pocket money that was plenty, I wouldn't realise how precious it is to see my pigeon hole filled with snacks, or how nice it is to have more than 5 sets of clothings, or know how satisfying it is to earn for what I want.

True, sometimes I do envy my friends. How easily they can have what they want just by asking., while I have to pray and find some way to work for it. And sometimes it is really irritating to see how pampered they are, and yet they still complain incessantly, while I am making the best out of my situation and thinking how much more worse it can get. Like sometimes, I just look at them and I really see how life can be unfair.

But hey, if my dad didn't bring me up this way, I probably won't be able to appreciate the finer things in life, or be so independent. I probably won't be so perfectionistic, or putting in so much effort to the things that I do. Haiz. I probably won't jump when my parents start talking to each other.

Oh wellz. I guess at the end of the day, I'd rather be the person I am now than the pampered people some of my friends are. And I have to admit, I'd rather my dad bring me up to be a person people rely on, then to be a person who needs others..